"You wish, you egomaniac. The only way I'd stare at your ass, is if you had a picture of Henry Cavill stapled to it."
I chuckled at the familiar banter of two of my closest friends. I'd missed this over the past few weeks. And even though we were all together under the worst possible circumstance, I was happy that we were all together again.
I tried to pack quickly, without paying too much attention to what I was doing. I was afraid if I didn't, I'd break down and embarrass myself, and I'd already done enough of that.
I walked into the kitchen and paused when I saw Scott and Gaby standing by the sink, his hand on her arm, and their heads bent together in deep discussion.
I assumed they were just having a conversation, but when I said, "What's up?" and they jumped apart guiltily and looked up at me with surprise, I wondered what was going on.
"Nothing," they said simultaneously.
I tilted my head and looked at them, searching their faces for a clue as to what they could possibly have to look guilty about. Figuring they were talking about Shelly and me, I shrugged and said, "Okay." Then I walked to the fridge to grab a water and get back to work.
When I walked past the living room, I saw Shelly sitting on the floor going through our CDs. She was holding a Brad Paisley CD in one hand, and wiping a tear off of her face with the other. It was the CD that featured out wedding song.
My chest tight, I walked into the room and crouched down onto the floor next to her.
"Remember the first time we heard that CD?" I asked softly.
Shelly looked up at me, her eyes big and sad. She nodded, but I answered anyway, caught up in the past.
"I snuck in to your house after the Sadie Hawkins dance, and you picked it out of your dad's collection. We danced to the entire thing, even the songs that were impossible to dance to." I chuckled as I remembered that night. "We laughed so loud, your dad came down and caught us. I thought he was going to kick me out, but he didn't, he just told me that if I got fresh, he'd grab his rifle."
I looked into Shelly's eyes, and we both smiled at the memory.
"When they asked what song I wanted to dance to at our wedding, there was no doubt in my mind what song to pick," Shelly added softly, her voice rough with tears.
I squatted there next to her for a moment longer, visions of that night dancing through my head.
We looked at each other, neither of us speaking, and I knew we were both reflecting on what we were about to lose.
As much as I wanted to deny even the remote possibility that my relationship with Shelly would end, I knew that we couldn't go on the way that we were now.
I yearned for the couple that we used to be.
When the pain became too much to bear, I stood and said, "Well, I'd better get back to it." Then I turned and went back to finish packing up the bathroom with a heavy heart.
As I listened to the sounds of our friends whispering in the other room, I packed and labeled boxes for Shelly and myself.
My stomach burned as I divided all of our stuff, most of which we had bought together. It wasn't hard to figure out who got what; I packed most of it for Shelly. All I needed were the bare essentials. Plus, I was holding out hope that in eight weeks, we'd be moving back in together and moving forward with the rest of our life.
My mind kept returning to the night before, and I knew I had to come up with a date that didn't have the potential to backfire like last night's date had. Convincing Shelly that I loved her implicitly, that she could trust me, and that we belonged together, was my only focus at this point.
There was no future for me without Shelly in it. I just needed to convince her of the same.
Chapter 14 - Shelly
Was this ever going to get easier?
I cried myself to sleep again last night. After packing up our home on Sunday, the girls and I went back and cleaned the house on Monday, to get it ready for Sasha to show it. I didn't tell Cal, or ask the guys to come help, because after Sunday, I didn't think I could stand the pain that came from all of us being together.
I hated how awkward it was, and I wished there was something I could do to change it.
After we were done cleaning, I'd taken my time and walked around the house. I ran my hand along the countertops, remembering the first dinner I'd cooked for Cal. Meatloaf, with mashed potatoes, gravy, and corn on the cob.
Cal loved my meatloaf.
I smiled when I looked over the stencils I'd painted in the bathroom. They were delicate white flowers against the baby blue walls. Cal had joked that he'd wanted the bathroom to be done in a fishing theme, but I'd bought the stencils and had the bathroom decorated by the time he'd gotten home from work. He'd pretended to be angry, but I said I'd make up for it, and we'd ended up having sex right there. He'd lifted me up against the wall, and when my legs wrapped around his waist, the decor of the bathroom was quickly forgotten.