“It was a really great weekend,” I murmured as we made our way down the highway, back toward school. “Victoria looks amazing.”
“Yeah, she makes even pregnancy look classy,” Craig agreed with a chuckle.
“I’m glad we went.” I turned my head, rolling it along the headrest, to look at Craig’s profile. My chest ached with how handsome he was. I knew I saw him that way, not only because he was beautiful on the outside, but because he was so good inside. He’d been my champion since I met him, and I’d lost sight of that because I’d felt an almost desperate need to keep my heart safe from him.
I wasn’t going to do that anymore.
“I like you,” I said, then watched his eyes crinkle as he smiled at my words.
“I like you too,” he replied, never taking his eyes off the road.
I guess that made it easier to say what I said next.
“I like you, more like love you, probably been in love with you since the day we met,” I said softly, watching the expressions run over his face as what I was saying registered.
Pleasure, surprise, disbelief, a flash of hurt, then… wonder.
Craig was silent as he pulled the car off at the next exit, then pulled into the parking lot of the first business he saw. Once the car was in park, he turned fully toward me in his seat, his right leg bending to rest awkwardly on the driver’s seat.
“You’re in love with me?”
My heart skipped a beat at the vulnerability in his eyes.
“Yes.”
“But… you’ve basically fought with me at every opportunity for almost three years. You’ve taunted me, argued with me, and acted like I was the bane of your existence.”
“Yes.”
“Why? Can you explain it to me?”
I closed my eyes, trying to draw out the words that never wanted to be let loose. I didn’t know why I had such a hard time expressing my feelings, or why my first instinct was to shut people out when they hurt me, rather than discussing what happened like a rational person, but that’s the way I’d always been.
But, this was Craig. I’d put him through a lot, and I knew if I wanted there to be any chance of an actual, romantic relationship with him, and if I was honest, that’s what I always wanted, then, I’d have to swallow my fear and be honest with him.
“You know how hard it is for me to talk about things,” I said, opening my eyes to find him watching me, his face gentle. At his nod, I continued, “Especially my feelings, but I want to try. You deserve that.”
Craig didn’t answer just waited patiently, like he always did.
I cleared my throat, then took a cleansing breath before responding.
“Well, you know when we all went to USC for Orientation, we ended up going to the frat party together, you, me, Liam, and Aliyah.” I waited for affirmation, but when he didn’t respond, I knew he wanted to me get to the point. “Well, I wasn’t drinking, but the rest of you were. Liam and Aliyah ended up wandering off somewhere, and I didn’t know what to do, you were pretty out of it. So, I took you back to the room that Aliyah and I were staying in. We were talking and laughing, and before I knew what was happening, you kissed me.”
I was watching him closely, so I saw when horror begin to cross his face, I knew I had to squash that look before he got the wrong idea.
“No, Craig,” I assured him, putting my hand in his and squeezing. “It was nothing like that. It was mutual, you didn’t force yourself on me… Shoot,” I added with a self-deprecating grin, “If anything, I’m guilty of taking advantage of you. You’d obviously had a lot to drink, but when you kissed me, I wanted it. It was something I’d always wanted, so I kissed you back.”
“I’m sorry, Gwen… I …” Craig ran his hand over his face, obviously frustrated. “I don’t remember any of this. Is that all?”
“No, it isn’t.”
Chapter Sixteen ~ Gwen
(18 years old)
His lips were softer than I’d ever imagined, and I’d imagined them a lot. At least once a day since I turned thirteen, maybe more.
I brought a hand up to touch his cheek gently, worried that too much movement on my part would bring him back to reality, and he’d pull away.