“It has to be, because that’s the truth.”
“But sometimes the truth is deceptive,” I fling back at him, and this sobers him right up.
“What do you mean by that?” he asks, somewhat defensively. Hmm. Interesting reaction.
“I just meant that sometimes, the truth is so crazy that it doesn’t seem true. Like you saying you don’t know how long you’ll be here. You have to know how long you’ll be here.”
He stares at me, amused now. “But I don’t.”
“You’re frustrating,” I tell him. He grins. “Guesstimate, then.”
“Fine,” he says, sounding satisfied. “If you’re worried about me leaving, I’ll guesstimate. I guess… I’ll be here as long as it takes.”
“As long as what takes?” I ask.
He shrugs.
I want to throat punch him.
“You’re seriously frustrating,” I answer. He laughs.
“I’ve heard that before,” he admits.
“I bet,” I grumble.
He’s laughing and the sound of it vibrates my ribs, filling my belly with warmth. It’s a warmth that I don’t deserve to feel. I try to shove it down, try to shove it away, but the guilt keeps coming back, present in everything I do.
No matter what.
I shouldn’t be sitting here enjoying myself, that’s for sure.
I shouldn’t be fantasizing about this sexy man, dreaming about him, wishing I could be with him. I don’t deserve it. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut, and when I open them, I notice something on Dare’s boot, mixed with the grass from the mountainside.
Blood.
“Um. What’s that?” I ask stiltedly, because I already know.
He follows my pointing finger, then meets my gaze.
“It’s blood. I didn’t realize it was there.”
“What’s it from?” My words are calm, much calmer than my racing heart.
“From a raccoon,” Dare sighs.
My eyes meet his. “I hit it, didn’t I?”
He nods slowly.
“I killed it?”
He nods again. “It’s dead.”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” My voice is shaky now, and I fight to control it.
His dark gaze doesn’t waver. “Because there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s dead, and I’m sure it was instantaneous. It didn’t suffer and I didn’t want you to feel bad about it. I’m sorry. I should’ve just told you.”
Oh my God. I’m a menace to society. I know it was just a raccoon, but it had a life, and then it came into contact with me, and now it’s dead.