Finn
My secret is eating me alive, clawing at my skin, trying to get out. But I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
You’reCrazyCrazyCrazyAndEveryoneKnowsIt.
I stare at my journal, at the brown leather cover, and I grab it, hurling it across the room. It slams into the wall, then flutters unharmed to the floor. I rush to grab it, to clutch it to my chest as I rock with it on the floor.
After a minute, something occurs to me.
Of course.
I can’t tell Calla, but I can tell my journal, the way I’ve spilled every other thing in my life onto its pages.
I grab a pen and then I press hard enough that it almost pushes through the page, as if my secret is bursting to get out as the words rush out through the ink.
Once it’s there, I feel better, calmer, as though I’ve confided in an old friend. I close the cover and leave it on the windowsill. As I flip off the light and walk through the door, I almost miss the hissing whisper in my mind….the sharp female voice that I just can’t get away from.
Coward.
17
SEPTEMDECIM
Calla
I take a cleansing breath and reach for the sky as I do my morning yoga on the edge of the cliffs. From here, I can see to the edge of the horizon, all the way out to where the water meets the sky.
“Why do you do this here?” Finn’s voice comes from the trail, soft in the morning air. “You know it’s dangerous.”
I hold back a smile. “You know I’m not close enough to the edge to worry.” I palm the ground, then hoist myself up into a Forward Fold. I stretch to my feet, feeling every tendon, muscle and ligament elongate as I roll to my toes.
“Why are you up so early?” I ask without opening my eyes. I count as I stretch.
Five.
Six.
Seven.
Finn sighs. “I don’t know. I can’t sleep.”
Eight.
Nine.
Ten.
I finally turn around, and notice that my brother’s face is weary and pale. This alarms me. “You’re not feeling better yet?”
He shakes his head. “No.”
A surge of panic shoots through me and I fight to tamp it down. It’s just insomnia, for God’s sake. Not an instant red flag.
“You’re taking your meds, right?”
He seems to hesitate before he answers. “Yeah.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah?”