But I do. “At least you still have your memories. My mind is like Swiss cheese.”
I chew on my lip for a second. “The drawing of me that you did. I was naked and in high heels…”
Dare levels a gaze at me. “Do you remember the day I based that drawing off of?”
/> Oh, I do. I definitely do now. It was right before school had ended and it was amazing.
“I do. But… I found that drawing in Finn’s journal. He’d written MINE all over it. But it wasn’t Finn. I think it was me.”
Dare sighs. “You asked me for the drawing the night you caught me drawing it.”
I stare at him, shocked. “I did? I don’t remember that part.”
I don’t remember it at all. Why would I write all over my own drawing?
Because I thought I was Finn. Because subconsciously I couldn’t let go of Finn.
I shake my head and look away. “This is maddening. I remember some things, but other things…especially when it comes to you, are still fuzzy.”
He gives me a dark look. “Maybe your mind is still trying to protect you.”
That gives me pause and I freeze in place, my feet sinking in the damp sand. “What would it have to protect me against?”
Dare shrugs, his face a perfect expressionless mask.
“You know I can’t say.”
Frustration makes me want to scream. “The doctors said I need to remember on my own,” I tell him sharply. “They didn’t say you can’t give me hints.”
He shakes his head. “It’ll come to you. Just know that I’ll never hurt you. Not on purpose.”
“It’s your past,” I tell him confidently. “Where you came from. I’m sure of it. Because that’s the part that’s fuzzy. How we met. But I did an internet search on you. Nothing was unusual.”
Except for the part where he’s richer than God, and has had a million blond girlfriends. I absentmindedly twirl a piece of my long red hair around my finger, because I’m the farthest thing from blond there is.
We sit on the beach finally, staring out at the water, listening to it crash against the rocks.
I lay my head against Dare’s shoulder.
“It can’t be too bad. Whatever it is, I was fine with it before. I know that because we were still together when… it happened.”
When I lost everything.
Dare grabs my hand, his thumb playing with mine. The only sound is the water, crashing into the shore then sucking back into the ocean. To and fro. It’s a lulling, soothing sound.
“I’ll figure it out,” I say softly, no longer worried.
“Yes, you will.” There seems to be slight trepidation in Dare’s voice.
For days, I think about it.
For days, nothing comes.
Dare stays with me like a champion. He comes to my house every day. He sits with me, goes through pictures with me, plays the piano for me.
Every day, I remember why I love him.
Every day I love him more.