“Yes, a son.”
By his look, I couldn’t tell if he was okay with this or not. Some men wanted a woman with no strings attached, and a kid was a big string. A guy with kid issues was an obvious deal breaker for me. Chris might be in college, but he wasn’t going anywhere. This wasn’t a real date so it wasn’t as if Gray was going to end it. It hadn’t even started.
Thor gave me the look of a suffering parent. “Then you can understand.” He ran his hand through his goatee. “The babysitter comes in an hour so Laura can join us at the bar. A few hours of just grownups.”
“I’m past the babysitting stage now,” I shared. “Some things get easier.”
His smile slipped and looked as if I’d kicked his puppy. “Only some things?”
I laughed at the forlorn look on such a brute of a man. “Only some things.”
“How old is your son?” Gray asked.
“Eighteen.”
Both men stared at me, stunned.
“Eighteen? Holy hell, woman,” Thor said. “You were just a baby when you had him. Is he a senior this year? Can he babysit?” His look changed to eagerness at the idea of a possible babysitter.
“I was twenty, so not much of a baby. And no, he’s in college.”
“They actually leave the house?” Thor sounded very eager for the idea. Toddlers were insane and exhausting and he was probably questioning his reasons for having them in the first place right about now.
I patted him reassuringly on his sweaty arm, the muscle beneath my palm rock hard. “They do, but it’s hard now that he’s gone. My job is done.” I tried to keep my voice light, but I’m sure it sounded wistful.
“Where does he go to school?” Gray questioned.
“Naval Academy.”
“Very impressive,” Thor added. “You must be really proud of him. Look, I’ve got to go or Laura will bury me in the backyard. I’ll catch up with you guys later?”
Both Gray and I nodded and Thor jogged off.
People were packing up and leaving, the two of us almost the only ones left from the game. “So…” I let the word hang as I glanced up at him, unsure of myself, of standing in the middle of an empty field with him. Had it been a bad idea to come after all? “Do…do you still want me to go with you?”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t I?”
I looked down at my bright pink toenails, swiped my foot over the blades of grass. “I’m a mother.”
Leaning down, he looked me in the eye and I had to meet his steady gaze. “From what I gather, a pretty good one.”
The compliment made me smile, although somewhat shyly. I had to know where he stood because I could walk away now with only a dent in my pride. I knew if I spent much time with him there was a chance I could be truly hurt. “That’s not going to change. Being a mother, I mean. Does that bother you?”
“If you said you had a five-year-old, it might. Not because of the reasons you think.”
I lifted my chin, waiting. I’d wanted honesty.
“I had a shitty childhood and I’m not a good bet for kids. I’d break them or damage them mentally. Something. But if your boy is at the Naval Academy, he sounds more like a man to me. I doubt I can ruin someone that old.”
Those weren’t the words I expected. Too much baggage, too much effort for someone else’s kids, perhaps. Lots of possibilities. But I never thought he'd say he was flawed, damaged enough that he wasn’t worthy. To me, from the little bit I knew about him, that didn’t seem possible.
The conversation had gotten heavy pretty fast, so I just nodded and moved on. “I didn’t know you and Simon knew each other. From where?”
He looked at me suspiciously. “You really don’t know, do you?”
I felt like I was missing the punch line of a joke. “Know what?” Then it came to me. Oh shit. I backed up a step, realizing my gaffe and pasted on a fake smile. “You’re gay. Why didn’t you tell me you were gay? It doesn’t bother me, if you were afraid to tell me. I mean—”
“Emory,” he cut in, shaking his head, hand up. I think he actually rolled his eyes at me. “I’m not gay.”