Until We Fly (Beautifully Broken 4)

All I do… all I can ever do… is brace myself for the pain.

It comes quickly.

My father backhands me hard, hard enough that I go flying into the frozen sand and I taste blood.

“Get up,” my father snarls, alcohol on his breath. He’s been at the bar, again. It’s always when he comes home trashed that he drags me out here.

I stagger to my feet, and the world whirls around me. I see two of my father, before I blink and they blend back into one.

“Swim out and ring the bell,” he demands.

I shake my head. “The lake is almost frozen,” I tell him. “I can’t.”

My father’s face contorts. “You’re such a little chicken shit,” he growls, backhanding the side of my head. I cup my ear with my hand and feel the blood as it trickles down my neck. It’s warm.

“It’s your fault she’s dead,” he tells me, his words as stark as the frozen lake. “And it should’ve been you.”

He hits me again, and this time, I don’t get up.

/> “A penny for your thoughts,” Nora tells me softly, coming up from behind. She lays her hand on my shoulder and I glance up, trying to shake the old memories away.

“They aren’t worth a penny,” I tell her. And I mean it. She eyes me curiously, then stares out at the buoy.

“Thinking about your dad’s will?”

No.

“Yeah,” I lie.

She bites her lip as she stares into the distance. “Have you decided if you’ll do it?”

I haven’t even thought about it.

“I probably will,” I tell her. “My mom wasn’t the best mother, but even she deserves something for staying married to my father for so long.”

Nora glances at me. “But do you deserve to have to be the one who gives it to her?”

I shrug. “I’m just going for a swim. No big deal.”

She eyes me doubtfully. “But you hate to swim.”

I nod. “Yeah, I do. But it won’t kill me.”

Nora can’t see the way my palms go clammy at the thought. Because damnit, Brand. Quit being a pussy.

Nora smiles at me. “The UPS driver was just here. You got something from Gabe.”

My tux. I’d called and asked Gabe’s wife Maddy to ship it. They’ve got a key to my place.

“Ah,” I tell her. “Good. It’s Friday and I need something to wear.”

Nora’s face instantly clouds over and I regret mentioning it. But it is Friday. She’s got to face it sometime, because the dinner is tonight.

“I’m sure your dad will be very happy to see me,” I tell her drolly. She actually laughs at that.

“I’m sure,” she agrees with a grin. “Don’t be surprised if he hugs you.”

“With his fist,” I nod. She giggles again.