Nelson and Joel are slowly decorating the top three floors. This ground-level apartment has been all me since the day I moved in. I painted the walls soft gray, added a few hand-woven rugs in my favorite shades of blue and yellow, and brought in the array of houseplants I collected at my last apartment.
It’s always felt like home.
“I’ll get it packed up in the next week or two.” I glance around the charming bedroom with French doors that lead out to a garden patio complete with rose bushes, a small patch of grass, and white lights that twinkle at night. “Nelson and Joel aren’t in a hurry to rent it out.”
“They could have someone new in by the first of next month. I’ll arrange for movers to pick up everything by the end of the week.” He types something into his phone. “I’ll leave you be. I’ll see you at the church.”
I spin around to face him. My eyes search his face for something, anything that tells me that I’m doing the right thing.
“You’re wearing your hair up, aren’t you?” He tugs on one of the strands of my shoulder-length hair. “You know that I prefer it up, Afton.”
“I’m wearing it down.”
The corners of his lips curve up into a smile. “You love to tease me.”
I’m dead serious. The hairstylist that my mom hired for the day is bringing a curling iron. I’m going for a soft wavy look. I know it will complement my gown.
“Until we meet again.” He scoops my hand in his and brings it to his lips for a soft kiss.
Not one butterfly flutters around in my stomach. I don’t feel a jolt of anything but anxiety.
As I watch my fiancé walk out of my bedroom, my gaze drops to the diamond ring on my finger and my shaking hands.
I close my eyes and wish for the only thing I want today. I need a sign that this is my true destiny because all the certainty I felt on the night Warren proposed has been slowly pushed aside and replaced with doubt.
***
“Do you have something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue?” Joel, my best friend, brother-in-law, and man-of-honor, adjusts the hem of my veil.
I nod. “I have it all.”
Squinting his eyes, he tilts back on the heels of his black oxford shoes. “You don’t have it all, Afton.”
“I have the bracelet that my mom loaned me.” I wiggle my wrist in the air, shaking the silver charm bracelet. “I have the earrings my grandma gave me for my birthday last month.”
“Grams bought those earrings?” Joel’s fingers skim over the diamond stud in my left ear. “Are they real?”
I shrug. “They look real. That’s what counts, right?”
Joel waves his wedding band in my face. “These diamonds are real. I told Nelson that I needed a full carat before I’d let him put a ring on this hand.”
My brother never spares expense, which brings me to my something old.
“My something old is my favorite thing.” I bow my head, so the vintage, handmade crystal headpiece attached to my veil catches the light overhead. “I can’t thank you and Nelson enough for this.”
“I thanked your brother for you.” Joel’s green eyes sparkle. “I told him when we went to Paris for our second honeymoon that we couldn’t come back to Manhattan without something special for you.”
“I’m all set.” I smooth my hands over the front of my dress. “I’m not missing a thing.”
“You’re missing a smile.” He cups my chin in his hand.
“I’m nervous,” I confess, taking a step back from his touch.
Joel and I have been friends since the first grade. He knows me better than anyone. If he senses something isn’t right, he’ll push until I spill the beans.
“Spit it out, Afton.”
I run a hand over his perfectly coiffed red hair and repeat my last words. “I’m nervous.”
“You’re having second thoughts,” he blurts out. “Tell me now if you are.”
I look over to where my mom and Nelson are standing next to my coffee table in the living room. They’re gazing down at the flowers that were dropped off thirty minutes ago.
I couldn’t decide on a color theme for the wedding, so Joel took charge and opted for violet. It’s my favorite color.
It’s Joel’s too. He’s dressed in a black suit with a purple necktie and pocket square.
“It’s almost time to leave for the church.” I wring my hands together in front of me. “I’ll be Warren’s wife in less than an hour.”
“You’ll be his wife until death parts you.”
I stare at him as his words wash over me. The finality in his statement stirs up the anxiety that’s been hovering just below the surface all day.
“You don’t have to go through with this.” Joel lowers his voice. “The day I married Nelson, I was on cloud nine. You don’t look like you’re on any cloud. Your body says bride. Your face says burial.”