“Should you get that?” she asks, her hand jumping to my forearm.
“It’s Monica,” I manage to say in a strangled tone.
“Your mom?” She steps closer. “It might be important.”
The volume in the room rises when people burst out in laughter. I hang my head, needing quiet and time. Quiet so I can think and I need time to tell Bella who I am and how I wish I could go back to that day.
Moving past me, she pushes the handle on the door. “Let’s go outside for a minute.”
I’m grateful. I follow her out, stepping to the side until we’re both out of viewing range of the people inside the restaurant.
The ringing of my phone quiets but starts again almost immediately.
Bella’s gaze drops to the screen. “It’s your mom again. I think you need to answer it.”
It’s the last thing in the world I want to do, but I give in because it will give me an extra thirty seconds to think about how I will tell the woman I love that I hurt her.
“Mother,” I spit into my phone. “What is it?”
“Your father,” she says through a sob. “He’s in the hospital. It’s not good.”
The fear and sorrow that should be flooding me finds no room because I’m too fucking confused and numb. I can’t feel anything but shame and regret right now.
It serves me right. This is my punishment for what happened years ago. I fell in love with the person I hurt most in the world.
Fuck you, fate.
“What hospital?” I bark back.
“Hospital?” Bella mumbles under her breath. “Your mom?”
I shake my head.
“Your dad?” she whispers.
I nod before I’m treated to another wailing sob from my mother who is putting on a show worthy of a nomination for worst actress ever. She’s told me all too many times that she wished my father would drop dead. Today her wish may come true.
I need time with him first to understand his lies.
Handing off the peonies to Bella, I rake a hand through my hair. “What hospital, Mother?”
She manages to get out the name of a hospital in San Francisco.
I stumble through a civil goodbye to her after I repeat the hospital’s name back to be sure I got it right.
“You need to go,” Bella says before I can get out a word out after I pocket my phone. “I’ll explain to everyone here about your dad. I can call Ivan too and let him know that you can’t go to Chicago.”
I cup my hands over her cheeks. Feathering kisses over her delicate forehead, I close my eyes. “I’m sorry, Bella. I am so sorry.”
Pulling back, she looks into my eyes. “Don’t be sorry. I understand.”
Pressing a kiss to her mouth, I breathe in deeply. “Please try and forgive me.”
“There’s nothing to forgive you for.” She glances down at the flowers in her hand. “Go see your dad.”
With a final kiss to her lips, I walk away from the woman I love.
Chapter 53