Black Sunshine (Dark Eyes 1)

“He got mad,” she fills in.

?

??Yeah,” I say, looking at her. “I’ve never seen him mad before. It scared the shit out of me. But at least I stopped.”

She nods, rubbing her pink lipstick together. “Hmmm. It is rare that Solon gets mad. I’ve seen it, and you’re right, it’s, uh, intense. Especially when he’s always keeping his emotions so perfectly in-check. But he won’t stay mad. He understands more than anyone else what it’s like to lose control…”

The way she trails off there sounds like she just said something she shouldn’t have.

“What is it?” I ask.

She shakes her head. “Nothing. I think your tea is ready.” She leans over and pours my tea for me, the fragrance of the lemon balm filling the room. Not the best smell, but right now I find it comforting.

She gives me another quick smile. “Solon has a complicated past and I don’t know the half of it,” she explains. “All I got from him are the things he sometimes tells me when he’s drunk.”

“He gets drunk?” I ask, eager to see him lose his decorum.

“Rarely. It takes a lot for a vampire to get super drunk, but I have seen it. The perks of running a bar for them.”

“So, what did he tell you?”

I half expect her to tell me what Wolf told me, that his past is his to share or some bro-code excuse like that.

“I just know he has issues with getting close to women,” she says carefully.

“Surely a man like that has every woman in the city throwing themselves at him,” I say.

“Oh, he does. He attracts them like crazy. It’s not just him compelling them either, it’s just the way he is. Normal humans, they know something is amiss with him, something beautiful and dark and dangerous. They want to be a part of it. Equally scared and fascinated. That’s what compels them.”

“So, he doesn’t bring any of them home?”

“No,” she says. “I mean, he sleeps with them, but usually at a hotel or their place.”

And at that, I’m suddenly hit with a wave of nausea, feeling physically ill, my heart seeming to collapse on itself.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she says emphatically. “I didn’t…I didn’t realize you were in love with him.”

Now I’m nearly choking on part of the cookie I thought I’d swallowed. “What? I’m not in love with him!”

“Well, you looked like you were just kicked in the stomach,” she points out, eying me. I look down. I am in fact holding onto my stomach in pain.

“I’m not in love with him,” I say, trying to straighten up. “I don’t even like him. This is just a territorial thing. A possessive thing. I’m a vampire, remember?”

“Right,” she says slowly, her brow flicking up. “Anyway, regardless of what brought that reaction on, I shouldn’t have been so callous.”

Despite what I just told her, I still can’t shake the sinking feeling. “I don’t understand though. He acted earlier like he couldn’t have sex with me. I thought he maybe meant in general, like he took some celibate vampire oath or something.”

Amethyst snorts at that.

I give her a dirty look, to which she recoils slightly. “But,” I continue, “if he’s sleeping with a ton of other women, then why didn’t he…”

I don’t finish my sentence. It’s because he simply doesn’t want to. Each time he’s been hard as cement and aroused around me, I’ve been naked and pressed against him. Most men would react that way, and I’m sure vampires too.

“I didn’t say he’s sleeping with a ton of women,” she says, composing herself. “I don’t ask questions, but he’s almost always here and I’ve never met any of them. He’s a secretive guy by nature, not just his vampire nature, so I don’t think he shares too much of himself with others, even if it is just physical.” She pauses, weighing something in her head. “I only know he was in love once.”

“Once?” My heart pangs again. So he can love.

“A very, very long time ago,” she says gravely, and from the tone of her voice, I know this isn’t going to have a very happy ending. “She died.”