All Kinds of Tied Down (Marshals 1)

“So,” Min said docilely, taking a seat beside my legs on the couch, curling her own up under her. “How are you feeling?”

I knew her better than to believe that docility was real. She was setting me up; it was the same way she started in court, all sweet like she was a bunny instead of a tiger. “Much better.”

Her simpering smile was terrifying.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, spit it out.”

“Fine. What’s going on with your love life?”

Silence.

“I gotta call you back,” I heard Catherine say to her husband, and she was downstairs seconds later as Janet and Aruna appeared at the kitchen door.

They hovered like vultures.

Jesus.

I pulled one of the throw pillows I was using to prop myself up from behind my back and covered my face. After several moments, I lifted it up and found my four friends sitting around me. Three perched on the coffee table, staring, and Min had not moved.

“Do tell,” Janet fished.

“You guys are all so pretty,” I said, just to be saying something, even though it was true.

Catherine scowled, tucking a long black lock of hair behind her ear. It had come loose from the French twist. As a surgeon, she was used to wearing it like that, up and away from her face. “Answer the goddamn question.”

“You swear a lot.”

“So you like to remind me,” she said patronizingly. “Now talk.”

“Yeah, talk,” Janet said sweetly. “And if there are any juicy bits—”

“Start with those,” Min prodded. “I love the juicy bits.”

“What do you—”

“You know who was hot?” Aruna sighed. “His boss.”

“Oh, I didn’t see him.” Janet sounded sad. “Tell me.”

“So yummy, your boss,” Aruna said, leering at me.

“He’s married, you know. Didn’t you see the ring?” I answered.

“Which precludes the yummy factor?” Min asked. “Since when?”

“But never mind, I digress. It’s so very obvious that you’re in love with your partner,” Aruna said with grave certainty. “So where are you in your conquest?”

“He’s straight,” I announced, “like he’s always been and will always be. Nothing’s magically gonna change.”

Aruna made a derisive noise, like I was confused. “I’ve met him—hell, we’ve all met him, but I’ve actually been in this very room when he’s here, and the way he tracks you with his eyes…. Miro, baby, he’s so not straight.”

“He—”

“Or maybe he is but he just wants you,” Janet chimed in.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Catherine whispered.

They were all driving me nuts.

“You know, since you’re convalescing, shouldn’t someone go over to Ian’s place and water his plants and check his mail?” Min offered brightly.

“Yeah,” Janet agreed. “I mean, you’ve got his dog, but there must be things he needs done.”

“Where is this going?” I asked, suspicious.

“Well, we’re just saying that his place probably needs to be aired out or something, and since you can’t do it…we will.”

“No.”

“Why no?” Min seemed interested in my answer. “His mail is probably piling up in his box. Someone should take care of that.”

“Because I don’t want you guys snooping around in there.”

“Miro Jones, we would never!”

Janet crossed her heart as Aruna cackled.

They were killing me. “I’m serious. You—”

“And that way we could check and see if Ian’s seeing anyone else.”

“He’s not.”

All four of them were looking at me with bemused expressions.

“No, I don’t mean like, he’s not seeing anyone else, I mean he’s not seeing anyone at all. His girlfriend just broke up with him.”

“How wonderful,” Catherine said evilly.

“You’re not listening to me.”

“I am,” she huffed. “But now I’m bored. I want to talk about right now, and since Ian’s not here and we don’t know when he’s coming back, what else can you do… or who….”

“Oh yes,” Aruna began suggestively, “we need someone new and interesting.”

“What’re you—”

“Like some other hottie,” Janet said, waggling her eyebrows.

“Wait—”

“And you know who was just frickin’ edible,” Min said, moving along the couch to stop beside my hip. “Your doctor.”

“Thank you,” Catherine teased. “I am, aren’t I?” Janet whacked her with a pillow as she dissolved into husky laughter.

“You should ask him out,” Aruna insisted. “He was really pretty.”

“Oh yes he was,” Min concurred.

“I’ll dial the hospital,” Janet offered. “Maybe he’ll come over here and play doctor with you.”

“He might not even be gay,” I protested in desperation.

Dead silence. I made a choking noise in the back of my throat.

“Man, your gaydar is for shit,” Catherine assured me. “Jesus Christ, Miro, how are you missing all this?”

“Isn’t it time for you guys to go home?”

Min passed judgment: “You need to get laid.”

“I—”

“You can get backed up,” Janet seconded, before turning to Catherine. “Men can get sick from that, can’t they? That’s what Ned says.”

“Your husband would say anything to make sure he gets laid.”

“My husband gets laid plenty,” she said, giving me far more information than I needed. “But you, Miro, how long’s it been? Have you gotten any since Brent left?”

“Dear God, stop,” I pleaded, rolling over onto my stomach.