“There’s nothing to forgive,” Selena said, shaking her head. “You made it clear right from the start that things between us could only be temporary. And you just saved me from a horrible fate!” She shivered. “You don’t even know…I don’t even want to think about it.”
“Did he hurt you?” Valen asked urgently. “Were you abused or molested in any way? Did I get to you in time?”
“I’m okay,” Selena assured him. But his words made her think of how very close she’d come to boarding the transport to Hammerdown and taking the silver kill-pill, which was still jammed into her jeans pocket. “I…I’m fine,” she whispered, but suddenly she felt overwhelmed. A sob rose in her throat and she tried to swallow it, unsuccessfully.
“No, you’re not fine!” Valen growled, his eyes flashing red. “Little one, tell me—should I go after the one who hurt you? I’ll rip his throat out, I swear it!”
“No…no one h-hurt me,” Selena protested, swiping at her eyes. She took a deep breath, getting back some of her control. “He threatened to and…and I was so sure he was going to! But he didn’t. You…you got to me just in time,” she assured the big Kindred. “I promise you did.”
“Thank the Goddess,” Valen murmured, looking relieved.
“Yes, thank the Goddess,” Selena agreed fervently, because she was pretty sure it was the Goddess she had heard the night before telling her to have courage and not to kill herself.
If she hadn’t spoken to me, I would have taken the kill-pill for sure!
But the thought didn’t bear thinking of. It was time to try and get back to some kind of normal—though Selena was no longer quite sure what “normal” was anymore.
“Um…you can put me down now,” she said aloud, noticing that Jess and Tolern were standing nearby, clearly waiting for her.
But Valen surprised her again.
“I don’t want to put you down,” he said fiercely. “I don’t want to let you out of my sight! The last time I did, something terrible happened.”
“Oh, Valen…” Selena looked up at him, her heart pounding. But he had hurt her before and she was wary of trusting him again. “Look,” she said softly. “It’s not that I don’t love having you hold me, but you seem to have this kind of… pattern.”
“Pattern?” He raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not understanding.
“A pattern, where you pull me close and then push me away as soon as we start getting intimate.” She shook her head. “And I just don’t think I can take it again. So maybe it would be better if you put me down and I’ll go back to Jess’s place and get cleaned up.” She looked down at her tattered, dirty clothes—especially the ragged t-shirt—and made a face. “I’m a real mess.”
“You’re beautiful,” Valen said softly. Don’t go with your friend—come home with me, little one.”
Selena’s heart lurched in her chest and she couldn’t even speak for a moment. The look he was giving her was so intense. But she was still wary of getting close to him and then getting hurt all over again.
“Valen…” she said hesitantly. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate what you did for me—I’ll always be grateful. But maybe we can talk about everything later? Right now I need a long, hot shower and some decent food.” She made a face. “The stuff they served in the holding cell was awful and I haven’t eaten anything in over twenty-four hours. Also, I’m just exhausted.”
“Then let me take care of you,” he murmured.
“What?” Selena looked at him uncertainly.
“Let me bathe you and get you something to eat,” he clarified. “Come home with me and let me care for you.”
Selena reached up to cup his cheek in one palm. God, it wasn’t fair how good he smelled and how warm and strong his arms were! How could she say no to him?
But how can you say ‘yes,’ knowing that he always pushes you away in the long run? murmured a skeptical little voice in her head. You’ll just get hurt again, Selena—don’t do it!
“Valen,” she said earnestly. “I…I can’t take another day like the gala. You took me to the beach and the mountains and that damn Pet Parade and afterwards, things were so intense between us and you made me think you cared and then…” She shook her head. “The next day, it was like you couldn’t wait to get rid of me. I just can’t—”
“I have been released from my vow,” Valen interrupted.
“I…you, what?” Selena was caught completely off guard. “Could you repeat that, please?”
“My vow to never take a bride—the Goddess herself has released me from it,” he murmured, searching her eyes with his own. “I am free of it, little one. So please…will you let me take care of you and just hear what I have to say?”