A strange surge of protectiveness washes over me. The curse? Whatever. I’m acting on it because it’s what I would do for my friends, definitely what I would do for my brother and cousins, and probably what I would even do for a stranger. I might be rich, but I’m not an asshole—most of the time.
“Okay, I’m taking that as a no. Do you want to sit down and talk about it?”
Some shades of the old Ellis come back in the defiant tilt of her jaw and the stark glint of her eyes. “No.”
“But you just said…I can’t…I can’t just ignore what you said.”
“Those were facts. And here’s another one. I’m not asking for your help.”
This is definitely the old, spunky Ellis who likes to tell me to farge off, even if it’s just with her ever-changing expressions. I swear, she has a very expressive face, and at least eighty percent of her facial muscles are used for showing disdain, shooting scathing looks my way, and betraying how much she despises me and everything related to me.
“I can help. I know people who know people, and I can find him a good therapist if that’s the problem. If he needs someone to talk to.”
“He has me to talk to!” Ellis snaps. I can tell I’ve offended and hurt her with my suggestion.
“Maybe he doesn’t want to burden you with—”
“No? It’s pretty clear that’s what’s been going on. He might not say much to me anymore in the way of actual conversation, but he says things loud and clear with the stack of dishes he never does, the house he never cleans, the clothes he never changes, the chair he never leaves, the lights he never turns on, and the TV that remains flickering and flashing constantly. He doesn’t mind burdening me with that.”
By the end of that very long, angry statement, Ellis has run out of steam. She visibly curls into herself, but I know she won’t welcome any physical efforts I make to comfort her. I have to try again to put the offer out there, or I won’t be able to forgive myself. Mental health is something that should be taken seriously, and just because someone hasn’t asked or doesn’t know how to ask for help doesn’t mean they don’t want it.
“We can’t afford it,” Ellis chokes before I can press on the I want to help you issue. “Of course I’ve thought about it. I’ve wanted him to talk to someone for a very long time.”
“What if I told you I would pay for it? You could afford it then. It would be free for as long as your dad needs it and if he wants to go.”
“But that’s…that’s…” Ellis’ eyes well up with tears again, and they look like two huge stars winking in a velvet night sky.
“Please. Just ask him.”
She blinks rapidly. “No. It won’t do any good if I ask him. You should ask him since you know all about whatever therapist. I’m sure you think you know a little bit about everything, and you think you can fix this problem. You…you…crea… never mind. Just…fine. We’ll go over to my dad’s house tomorrow. And for the record, I hope he accepts your help because he needs it. I want my dad back. I want him back more than I’ve ever wanted anything, except maybe to have my mom back, but that’s one thing you can’t help me with. It’s the one thing you’re not resp…never mind again. Also, for the record, I hope my dad throws a lot of things at you before he agrees to accept your help. You seem like the strong, resilient asshole type, so I know you’ll stand there and take it as a matter of pride. You won’t give up.”
I ignore the fact that we’re back to using the word asshole again. I suppose that for her, maybe there are many different types of assholes, many different categories, and maybe I fit and fall into each and every one of them. A finger there, a big toe here, a rib in that category…
But seriously, I’ve heard the word asshole so much that I’m starting to think I might need to change my name permanently to asshole.
“So, you think I’m strong?”
Ellis shifts from one foot to the other and drops her gaze to the ring on her left hand. “I guess we’ll find out tomorrow evening. Don’t worry. He won’t throw the TV or his chair at you. He likes those too much. The couches are too heavy to pick up, and the coffee table is full of stuff, but I’d watch out for the lamps, though. They have weighty bases, and they’re nothing special.”
I do my best to hide my astonishment. “Duly noted.”
“If you’re done now, I guess I’ll go to bed.”