“They’ll take care of her at St. Monarch’s,” I hear Demitri say.
“You okay?” Alexei asks.
“I’m fine.” I feel the vibration against my cheek as Carson’s voice rumbles from his chest.
I refuse to open my eyes. I can’t. I just can’t.
It’s too much.
The pain. The betrayal. The devastation.
Carson did nothing while they tortured me.
He just sat there.
It didn’t matter to him what they did to me.
Another sob flutters over my lips.
“Shh…” He pulls me tighter to his chest, and it makes waves of pain crash through me. When I feel his lips press against my forehead, I wish I had the strength to pull away. “I’m sorry, baby.”
Because of Carson, I could’ve died today.
While I choked and fought for air… he did nothing.
While I was beaten to within an inch of my life… he did nothing.
The shock becomes too much, forcing harsh tremors through my aching muscles. My heart breaks, and I know it will never heal from this.
“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispers.
Again the urge to pull away from him swells up in my chest, filling me with new panic and fear.
I loved Carson, and now I fear him. It makes my emotions spiral into a jumbles mess.
The past weekend we joked about him kidnapping me. Today it might become a reality.
I made love to him. To a killer.
My breaths try to speed up, making raw pain tear through my chest.
“Who…” It takes more strength than I have to get the words out, “are… you?”
There’s a moment’s pause, only the sound of the car’s engine around us, and then his voice comes out strained… harsh… cold, “I’m an assassin.”
Chapter 17
CARSON
It’s the hardest three words I’ve ever spoken.
I’m an assassin. A killer for hire. The evil in the shadows.
Hailey tries to turn her head away from me, but it slumps back because she has no strength.
There are cuts on her face. Above her left eyebrow, on her cheek, her bottom lip. Her skin is swelling feverishly, the blood starting to dry. Her throat is marred with angry red welts, and blotches are scattered over the top of her chest.
I know it’s not the worst of her injuries. The way her breath whistles tells me her ribs have probably been broken.
I glance around us to see where we are.
Fuck. Another twenty minutes to St. Monarch’s.
My eyes snap back to Hailey, and I can’t find any words that will make any of this better. Her face tightens with pain, and a broken sob drifts over her lips, like a forlorn wind howling over a vast empty space.
I hold her gingerly against me, pressing another kiss to her forehead.
Then she chokes, “D-d-don’t.”
Her eyes remain closed, and I realize she’s refusing to look at me. My own shuts against the unbearable ache it causes to rupture in my chest.
“I’m so sorry, baby,” I whisper again.
She makes a strained sound, almost like a whimper, but not quite. Fear is etched on her face, and the realization hits hard.
What we had has been broken. Hailey now fears me.
I can’t tell her she’s safe with me because she’s not.
I can’t tell her I won’t hurt her, not while I’m holding her broken body in my arms.
I can’t tell her I love her, not after I deceived her for so long.
There’s nothing I can say, nothing I can do, and it makes me feel frustratingly powerless.
As if he can feel the turmoil in my soul, my brother says what I can’t, “We’re almost there, little one. You’re safe now. You’ll feel better soon.”
His words pull another desolate sob from her, and it rips at my tattered heart.
When we drive through the gates of St. Monarch’s, I feel no reprieve. After Alexei brings the SUV to a stop in front of the entrance, I’m careful as I move to climb out of the car.
Every time Hailey winces, it makes my heart ache excruciatingly.
Madame Keller receives us at the door, gesturing inside. “The room next to my office,” she says.
I carry Hailey to where they have an emergency room set up, and walking inside, I head straight for the bed. Gingerly, I lay her down, and I press another kiss to her forehead, then I whisper, “They’ll take care of you.”
She doesn’t say anything and still refuses to open her eyes, her features tense.
I pull back and look at the damage my lies have caused before I turn around and walk out of the room. My throat closes up as I’m suffocated with regret and heartache. It lashes at my soul, tearing through whatever was left of my humanity.
“Carson,” Alexei calls behind me. Seconds later, he darts in front of me, and then his arms wrap around me. “She’s going to be okay.”
I shake my head.
She’s not.
She’ll never be okay again.
I found the most beautiful creature, and I destroyed it.
“Demitri’s with her. They’ll fix her up.”