At a snail's pace, I inch my way around the bed, using the stand for support. When I’m halfway to the door, Alexei gets up and comes to open it for me. He holds his hand out to me. “Need some help?”
I shake my head, slowly inching my way out of the room, and it has Alexei asking, “Where to?”
“Away from here,” I grind the words out through clenched teeth. Pure determination drives me to take step after step, my legs trembling and my chest on fire. I can feel Carson right behind me.
I only make it down the hallway when my legs lose all feeling.
Carson catches me from behind. “I’ve got you.” Without any effort, he lifts me to his chest and begins to carry me back to the room, with Alexei bringing the IV stand.
Carson’s voice is strained with emotion as he says, “You’re free to leave when you can walk to the main gates. I won’t stop you. I just need to be sure you’ll be okay once you leave here.”
My eyes lift to his face. The face I love.
No, Hailey. He’s bad.
You have to practice every day but come hell or high water, you’ll make it to those main gates.
Chapter 19
CARSON
It’s been over a week, and every day Hailey forces herself out of bed. She’s getting stronger, and it makes my panic grow. We removed the IV a couple of days ago, and she’s been against taking anything for pain.
She still refuses to talk to me, but she seems better with Alexei. She’s not as afraid of him as she is of me.
He didn’t break her heart with lies.
When Alexei gets up and walks to the bathroom, my eyes snap to Hailey. “Can we talk?”
“No.”
“Baby, please,” I plead, moving up onto the side of the bed. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” she snaps, her eyes colliding with mine. There’s no sign of the love she had for me, and it guts me.
“Let me explain.”
Hailey pulls herself up into a sitting position, and this time she doesn’t even wince.
“Explain to me why you just sat there while they hurt me. You hardly blinked.” The sting of betrayal is in every word.
“They would’ve hurt you much worse if I had shown any kind of reaction,” I reply.
Her face distorts with heartache. “You just sat there, Carson! I saw you take down nine men in a matter of minutes, and you just sat there while they almost drowned me.” She turns her face away and places her hand on her chest as she takes a couple of breaths.
“I had to wait for Admir to leave. I couldn’t take him on along with the other nine. I couldn’t risk your life.”
Her eyes swing back to me. “You did risk my life! I almost died because of you. Would you have even cared?”
"Of course!” I exclaim. “Keeping you alive was my only goal.”
Hailey lowers her head, then shakes it. “Because of you, they beat me. You just sat there with no emotion. How… even?” She gives me an incredulous look. “If you love me, how could you show nothing?”
Christ, I wish I could make her understand.
“They would’ve ripped you apart had I shown emotion. It took every ounce of strength I had. It fucking killed me, but I had to buy us time so Alexei could get there.”
She lifts her head and pins me with a glare, the fear that’s been trembling in her eyes gone. “You killed them all before Alexei got there.”
“There were more men outside, Hailey. I’m good, but I can’t take twenty-three men at once.”
“You started fighting before Alexei got there,” she says again.
“Because they were going to kill you. I was out of time,” I reply, desperate to make her understand. “Admir gave the kill order, and I didn’t hesitate after that. Keeping you alive was all that mattered.”
My words seem to start to get through to her, but then her features turn hard again. “It doesn’t change what you are.”
I take a deep breath. “Being an assassin doesn’t change who I am with you.”
“How do I know any of that was real?”
My desperation takes over, and my hands fly to her face. I crush my mouth to hers, and for a moment, Hailey lets me in. I get to taste her again, but then she yanks away from me, covering her mouth with a trembling hand.
“Don’t,” she gasps, shaking her head wildly. “Don’t touch me.”
“Oh, come on. I can’t take a piss without you upsetting Hailey,” Alexei snaps. “Get away from her.”
I tighten my hands into fists as I get up. “We need to fucking talk.”
“Fine, but you can do it sitting your ass down on that chair,” he nods at the chair next to the bed.
I drop down in it and stare at Hailey. “Everything we had was real. It still is.”