His eyes go warm as he takes in my face. I lift my hand and put it to his cheek.
“I love you,” I whisper.
Jude lets out a long, slow breath. It’s as if a whole bunch of tension leaves his body.
The car pulls up in front of the hotel and he exchanges pleasantries with the two cops that gave us the lift. They insist on seeing us to our room in case we’ve been watched.
Jude assures them that we haven’t but indulges their request.
A few minutes later, behind the closed door of our hotel room, his eyes hit mine.
I burst into tears and sink in as his arms wrap around me.
He holds me tight.
He holds me almost too tight. But I don’t care. I cry and cry and cry some more. Eventually, he moves us to the bed and holds me close while lying down.
Lips touch my eyelids, my forehead, and he dabs at my face with his flannel shirt, wiping away my tears.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you,” I say back, looking up at his face. There’s a sparkle in his eyebrow.
“These sparkles,” I mutter and stare at it on my fingertip. “We brought them to Ohio.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately what I knew. I was chewin’ on it. I wanted more information. And I was fuckin’ scared.”
“Scared? You?”
“I’ve been sure all along I’d do any fuckin’ thing to protect you. But the idea that the guy you were falling for, the guy you’d run from thinking he meant to hurt you wasn’t a shithead after all, was someone who was moving mountains to try to get justice thinkin’ his brother hurt you? The idea of that and the idea of losing you because you’d go back to him? It was fuckin’ shreddin’ my insides. Because I don’t wanna let you go.”
“You don’t have to let me go,” I whisper. “Unless you’re sick of my shit…”
“He wasn’t tryin’ to hurt you. He wasn’t testing your loyalty. He was trying to get shit taken care of without stressing you out about it and I get that way of thinking. I fuckin’ get it.”
I play with his beard as he talks to me. His eyes have so much emotion in them, so much that if I wasn’t already sure that I was in love with this guy, I would be now.
“It was hard seeing Jonah again, knowing what he must have gone through. I think that’s still penetrating, to be honest with you. The way he looked at me hurt. Imagining what he might have thought all this time…” I shake my head. “But all that said, I looked around as we drove back here remembering some of the streets, thinking about my old life, and I don’t want that life back. This isn’t home. The first time I’ve felt like something is home in a really long time is being with you, Jude.”
“Yeah?” he asks.
I nod. “You’re incredible. You’re together. You’re sexy. You touch me like …” I swallow, “Like I’ve never been touched. Look at me like you see me. Me. Whether I’m Ally, Alyssa, Elise, Leah…”
“Who are Elise and Leah?”
“They’re who I was in Baltimore and then Vegas. But I’ve never felt more me as Ally and never felt more like I’m where I’m supposed to be than I have in the last month with you.”
I put my lips to his and run my fingers through his hair.
“I love you, Jude.”
He squeezes me tight.
“I love you, Vixen.”
48
Jude
“It’s okay. Really,” she says and then lets go of my hand to go into Jonah Steele’s hospital room. Alone.
I’m not happy about this, not happy about her insisting she wanted to talk to him alone.
She tried to buy compliance from me this morning with a blowjob at the hotel before we checked out, telling me she was going to get closure before we headed to the airport to go home.
“You tryin’ to buy my cooperation with head, Vixen?”
She smiled.
“Maaybe.”
“You’re a bad girl. Get to it, then.”
“I’ll do one better,” she said.
I jerked my chin up.
“I’ll move in with you when we get back.”
I smiled wide.
“I’m still gettin’ head right now, right?”
“Right,” she said, smiling.
And now I’m here in the hallway of this hospital with the two guard cops and Craig Jenkins, who was talking to Grace Steele as we came in. Grace left with a big guy that looked like a bodyguard, shooting me a look and then blatantly checking me out before she left.
I get an email ping as I’m approaching Craig.
I glance at the screen.
“Your adoption application for “Georgia” and “Ralph” has been approved. Thank you for offering to be their fur-ever home. Please contact the office about your paperwork and to make arrangements for remittance of adoption fees. Congratulations!”
“You wanna join me in the caf for a shitty coffee, Jude?” Craig asks.