“Megan,” he said, his voice little more than a whisper. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“Didn’t do what?” Emma demanded impatiently.
“I cut myself, all right?” I said, frowning at them all. I was feeling really defensive by now. “I did it at first because it helped me feel better about the fact that she was dying. But one day I went into the bathroom of her hospital room and did it right there. And it helped—somehow it helped. I felt her pain pouring into me and she was able to rest after I cut for her. So…” I shrugged. “I kept doing it.
“Blood magic,” Avery whispered and shook his head. “Oh my god, Megan—you did Blood magic!”
“What does that even mean?” I demanded. “What’s the big deal with Blood magic, whatever it is?”
“It’s banned magic,” Avery exclaimed. “It’s just about the most forbidden magic there is! It’s been outlawed by the Council because it’s too powerful—too easy to twist to dark purposes.” He shook his head. “Not that it’s a ban most witches could break. Not one in a hundred is strong enough to even attempt it.”
“But I didn’t know I was doing magic! You have to understand.” My throat was tight and my voice choked with emotion. “My Mom…she was in so much pain and nothing they were giving her was helping at all! She was crying and hurting and I loved her so much! I would have done anything—anything to help her.”
“Of course you would!” Kaitlyn exclaimed, suddenly much more animated than I’d seen her since that morning. “When you love someone you’ll do anything—dare anything.”
“And anyway, it’s not your fault,” Emma said loyally, joining in to defend me. “Like you said, you didn’t even know what you were doing.”
I lifted my chin defiantly.
“I’d do it again even now that I do know,” I told them. “It was the only thing that helped my mom—the only thing that lessened her pain and let her die in peace. Cutting for her was…” I choked up for a minute and had to swallow hard and swipe at my eyes before I could go on. “It was all I could do for her. The only way I could help her.”
“Oh Goddess…” Avery was swiping at his eyes too, his anger melted in the face of my grief. “I’m so sorry, Megan,” he murmured, his voice choked. “I get it now. I’m sorry I yelled at you. And I kind of want to give you a hug.”
“Me too, Kaitlyn said.
“And me,” Emma added.
I gave them all a watery smile.
“I wouldn’t mind a hug right about now.”
The three of them gathered around me and we wrapped our arms around each other. As we did, I felt something flowing through us—a power not unlike the feeling I’d had when Griffin had marked me. But this was a warmer sensation—a feeling of love and understanding.
A feeling of coming home.
When we broke apart, there wasn’t a dry eye among us. But somehow, the awful pain of my mother’s death—which had never really lessened since she died—was a little more bearable now. It was like my coven-mates had each taken a share of that unspeakable agony for me and they were helping me shoulder the load.
It was wonderful.
“Thank you for understanding, guys,” I said to all of them. “I…I’ve never had friends like you before.”
“And you never will again,” Avery said seriously. “We’re connected now and we all share your secret. We won’t betray you, Megan, but no one else can know about this.” He looked at all of us seriously. “I mean it—the Other Elder Council wouldn’t be nearly so understanding of you doing Blood magic as we are.”
“Wouldn’t they forgive her, though?” Kaitlyn asked with wide eyes. “I mean, since she didn’t even know what she was doing at the time?”
“And because she was doing this, uh Blood magic, to help someone she loved?” Emma added.
Avery shook his head.
“I don’t think so. Blood magic is strictly forbidden and the Council won’t look on it kindly no matter why Megan did it.” He sighed. “Well, at least it’s in the past.”
I had a sudden thought and bit my lip.
“Um, it might not be as far in the past as you think, Avery,” I said in a small voice.
“What are you talking about?” His blond eyebrows drew low.
“I might have done it again today,” I confessed.
“What?” Avery demanded, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“When I slapped Sanchez and marked him—I think I was bleeding,” I said. “Coach Vasquez made me run in my regular school shoes and they cut into my heels. I wouldn’t even have known if Griffin hadn’t pointed it out to me in English class—that I was bleeding, I mean. I was so preoccupied with getting Kaitlyn to the Healer, you know?”
“Goddess of the Shadows and the Light…” Avery ran both hands through his hair this time. “This isn’t good, Megan. Whatever you do, you can’t let people know you’ve been doing Blood magic.”