Brandi had been mulling over her options ever since she’d found out what her share of the settlement would be. On one hand, she really wanted to get away from the double wide she shared with Bud and her mom. Mostly because her mother’s drinking habits were going to become obvious to Emmie soon. Three nights out of five now, Ida-Mae staggered back to the trailer in the early morning hours, drunk and rowdy. It was a bad example for her daughter, and Brandi knew it.
She’d tried taking her mother to rehab and AA but neither one seemed to stick—mostly because Ida-Mae liked her lifestyle. And since there were never any consequences—Bud never left her and he covered the bills when she drank her paycheck away—she had no reason to stop. It saddened Brandi because when she was sober, her mom was a wonderful grandmother, often baking cookies or playing dolls with Emmie for hours. Unfortunately, the sober days were getting few and far between, leading Brandi to think it was time to move out before Emmie got old enough to start asking questions and thinking that it was normal or right for someone to drink their life away.
So getting out of the double wide was a very attractive option. But on the other hand, if she could just hold on a few more years she could go back to school at HCC’s Plant City campus. They had a nursing program Brandi was really interested in and since there was a nursing shortage at the moment, she knew she would be able to get a good paying job that would enable her to support herself and Emmie much more comfortably if she could just get through it.
I suppose I’ll have to put up with Mom’s shenanigans a little while longer until I can get through school, Brandi told herself. Wish I could afford to go back to school and move out at the same time.
But that was a pipe dream. Even with the settlement money she would still have to take some loans and get at least a part-time job to make ends meet.
A longing suddenly swept over her—a longing for a partner—a wish that she wasn’t so alone. Of course, Bud was a wonderful support even if her mom wasn’t, but it wasn’t the same as having a father for Emmie—a man who would help her carry the financial and emotional burden of parenthood and life in general. A man to cuddle up to in bed at night, a man she could talk to about her day, a man who would love and support her no matter what…
A man like Slade, whispered a little voice in her head. Brandi was almost too tired to push it away. The longing she felt became a deep yearning—a wish that she could let the big Kindred back into her life.
But she couldn’t—she’d be a bad mom if she let her daughter be around a convicted murderer and felon! The kind of mom who puts her own needs and desires above the safety of her kids. And after being raised the way she had been by her own mother, Brandi was determined not to repeat Ida-Mae’s mistakes.
There was no way around it, she had to keep Slade out of her life, no matter how much it hurt.
Wiping the tears from her eyes, she wrapped herself in a towel and went to her room. Slipping into a worn, comfortable old nightshirt, she cuddled down in bed and reached for the big body pillow she kept to snuggle with when she felt especially lonely.
With a sigh, Brandi wrapped her legs and arms around the pillow and buried her face in its soft side. She knew it was pathetic but it usually brought her comfort. Not tonight, though. She felt nothing but cold and alone and sad. Finally she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer—low, hoarse sobs came from her throat and she did her best to muffle them in the pillow.
Her sorrow was made worse because somewhere in the back of her head she could feel Slade’s misery as well. The big Kindred was longing for her tonight. Though he was careful not to project his thoughts into her mind, she could still catch his emotions when they were especially strong.
Slade, I’m sorry, she thought, crying harder. So sorry but I can’t risk it—can’t risk Emmie. Please…please try to understand.
At last, all cried out, she fell asleep with her head on the damp pillow. She didn’t even wake when her mother came home around four in the morning, drunk and loud as always when she’d been at the bar too late.
Someone else did wake up, though.
* * * * *
Emmie sat up, wide-eyed as she heard her Grandma Ida-Mae come in. Sometimes Grandma Ida drank too much bad smelling medicine—it smelled like cough syrup to Emmie. After she drank the bad medicine, she couldn’t talk right and she fell down a lot. It scared Emmie when her Grandma got like that so she huddled down in her covers and called for Charlie to jump up on the bed with her.