"I think that I'd pay anyone anything at this point just to see my brother again."
Chapter 27
"Why did you let her walk out of here?" I ask quietly. "You should have told me who she was when I walked in."
He turns towards me. His eyes are a dark mask covering everything that is lurking beneath the surface of his thoughts and em
otions. "You were upset, Rowan. I can't think straight when you're upset."
I close my eyes in a desperate attempt to shield myself from his words. "You can't say things like that to me anymore."
"What?" His hand darts to my bare knee. I'd thought about going home to change into comfortable clothes after work but I had wanted to see Gabriel so much that I'd raced to his apartment still dressed in the white and blue dress I wore to work. Now, sitting next to Caleb with his skin touching mine, I feel completely underdressed yet again.
I don't want to wander off the track that we're on. Finding Asher is the only thing that matters at this point. The fact that I'm still emotionally reeling from what happened in my bed can't factor into anything. I have to push that aside and get my mind back into the game.
"Tell me what's going on?" He squeezes my knee and I instinctively pull it away.
"Nothing is going on," I try to say convincingly. "I'm worried about Asher. Did she say anything to you about where he might be before I got here?"
"She didn't." He half-shrugs. "She started talking about money the minute she walked through the door. The woman knows how to negotiate."
"Don't you have people who can track her sister down?" I ask curtly. "You don't need her to give you that information, do you?"
"The private investigator I hired is following up with all of that. Sonia is the direct method. She can give me everything I need."
I nod. I know that it's true. I don't live in a world filled with excess and luxury but I know, based strictly on how Clive conducts his business, that money opens doors that otherwise would be impenetrable. If Caleb can use some of what the brothers have worked so hard for, to help find Asher, it's a no-brainer.
"I want her to tell you where Asher is." I push myself up from the sofa. "I think you should go find her and ask her where he is."
"Before you got here we decided we'd meet tomorrow morning," he chuckles. "I need to go to the bank first."
I shake my head as I turn towards the door. "I have to go. I'm going out of town for work tomorrow. Will you call me once you talk to her again?"
He's on his feet now too. "Where are you going? Why is Clive sending you out of town right now? Doesn’t he know that I need you here?"
I don't take any comfort in the words. Instead, a jolting reality takes hold of me. Caleb needs me here. The selfish parts of him want my friendship and comfort to help guide him through the emotions he's feeling because his brother disappeared soon after he had him arrested. "You don't need me here, Caleb. You have Gabriel."
"He doesn't understand me the way you do, Bell."
I loved when he called me that when we were children running up and down the street together trying to launch the kite I got on my birthday from my grandparents. He'd held his hand over mine on the string, pulling me along behind him as we floated the kite just a few feet above the quiet, tree-lined sidewalk. Now, hearing him say it, I'm reminded of that morning when he gave in to his desire for me.
"You're getting closer to finding Asher." I rest my hand on my hip. "I have to do this for work. I need to."
"What's wrong?" His hand reaches out towards me, but he stops it in mid-air. "You've been different since…"
I watch as his fisted hand falls to his side. I lick my bottom lip, wanting my words to portray a strong, unfazed woman. "I've been different since that morning at my apartment. The morning you touched me until I came."
His breath catches and his eyes lock on mine. "Yes. You've changed since then."
This is it. There are defining moments in every relationship. When I was with Tom it was when he told me that he'd rather get high than clean up so he could be a partner to me. With my last boyfriend it was the moment I realized that being away from him was more fulfilling than sitting in a room listening to him talk about himself endlessly. With Caleb, it's right now.
"Do you want me, Caleb? Do you want me in your life other than as a friend?"
The questions pull the air from his lungs. I can tell by the way his body sways forward and his breathing stalls. "What do you mean?"
It's a tactic that he's used since we were children. He'll ask for clarification so he can gather together his tangled thoughts. I've seen him use the approach with his brothers and parents. This is the first time he's ever done it with me.
I close my eyes briefly before I open them and lock eyes with him. "We almost had sex that morning in my apartment. I think we would have if you wouldn’t have taken that call. I'm asking you if you want it to happen. Do you want me? Do you want me in that way?"