"Tell me the name of the second poem you wrote."
She sobs quietly. "Haze."
I swallow hard. "The third?"
"Haze."
"When did you write the last poem, Isla?"
"Two nights before my birthday."
I stop there out of my own selfish need to read her words. I rest my forehead on my hand, my elbow propped on the table as I read the tortured words of a young woman desperately alone in the world.
I am alone in this haze called life.
Every single day is a haze.
What does it feel like to live beyond the haze.
Haze…
Repeated again and again.
"This is your safeword?"
"I knew I'd never say it when I'm with you." She pulls in a deep breath. "You're supposed to pick something you know you wouldn't say when you're with that person."
I nod as I stare into her face.
"The haze disappeared when you kissed me."
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Isla
The moment I step out of the washroom and back into the almost vacant restaurant I know something is wrong. I'd only gone in there to fix my make-up after I'd sobbed in front of Gabriel. I knew I'd show him my poetry tonight. It's not publication worthy, and I don't intend to ever show it to another person, but it's part of my relationship with him, so it was a gift I had to share.
His head is bowed as he talks on his phone. His eyes shielded to me by his hand as he cups it over his brow. He's impatient with the person on the other end, scolding them with his tone, if not his words, which I'm too far away to hear.
I glance at the table, realizing that approaching it now, would only interrupt him. It has to be business. He must be dealing with something beyond my scope of understanding. I don't run a company. I can't imagine ever doing that.
My passion is music and now that my life is settled, it's where my time and energy will be spent.
I walk towards the bar, which is dotted with a handful of people, sitting on stools. I smile at the bartender as I order another glass of wine to share with Gabriel.
The drink will help calm my nerves, and there's something intimate in sharing a glass with him.
"Do we know each other?" A female voice pulls at me from the left. "Isla, is that you?"
I turn quickly when I realize it's Tiffany, a customer, from the boutique. "Tiffany, how are you?"
She pulls me into a quick embrace. "I'm well. I'm here to grab a quick drink with a friend. Do you want to join us?"
"I'm here with someone." I don’t gesture towards the table. Gabriel and I haven't made our relationship public yet. I'm not sure if that matters to him, but it's not my place to announce it to the world. Besides, I like having him like this, just for me.
"There's my friend now." She looks around me towards a woman who just walked through the door. She's tall, beautiful, her hair spiky and black.
"Sage." Tiffany stretches her hand out to the woman. "This is Isla."