"Plans?" He finally looks in my direction. "What plans?"
"Dinner with a friend." I don't elaborate.
"What friend?"
"No one you know." I walk past him, opening the office door. "Wait. You don't know any of my friends because you and I are just fuck buddies."
"Don't be so juvenile." He grabs my forearm, forcing me to stop my retreat out the door. "Who are you having dinner with?"
"It's not your concern." I pull my arm from his grasp.
"It is. I made plans for us to have dinner."
I look into his eyes. "I need a break from this." I sweep my hand over the air between us. "Whatever this is. I just need some time off."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I'm tired of trying to understand you. Maybe I should just embrace this for what it is. Two consenting adults who like having sex."
"We're more than that. You know that we are."
"No." I turn to leave not able to look him in the face. "We're two virtual strangers who like having sex. End of story."
"Do you really believe that?" His voice is soft, there's a vulnerable edge to it.
"I believe that I've shared too much about my life with you. I regret that. This is so unbalanced it's laughable."
"It's not."
"It is so." I stop before I walk through the doorway. "You're never going to chase the pain away by controlling me. It doesn't work that way, Jax. Get over her. Call me when you do."
Chapter 9
"I was shocked that you called, sugar." Liz hesitates briefly as if she's contemplating embracing me before she takes a seat across from me in the crowded midtown Starbucks. "I couldn’t believe it."
I nod and stare at her face. She looks tired and weak. I know that the past few weeks had to have taken their toll on her too. I saw the obvious anguish in her eyes when she realized that Mark had been unfaithful with others. Maybe she did really love him. "I thought it was time for us to talk."
"I'm so grateful. I knew you'd forgive me."
I pause and run my finger along the rim of the lid of my coffee. "This meeting isn't about forgiveness. I can't get there yet. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever will."
She sobs loudly before pulling her hand to her mouth. "Okay. That's fair. Mark…"
"I'm not here to talk about him." I interrupt her. "Please don't bring him up. If you do I'll leave."
She nods in silence. I can tell that she's in a wretched emotional state but I can't find any compassion within me for her. She pretended to be my best friend for years all the while she was rolling around in my bed with my fiancée. I'd even asked her to be the maid of honor at my wedding. She's stolen things from me that I may never get back and I can't deal with that right now on top of everything else.
`"The other day when you came by you said something about Jax." I hate that I've had to resort to looking to someone who betrayed me for information on him. I sense that she knows something though and I'm aching to find out what it is.
She nods her head quickly up and down. "Brighton told me something."
At the mention of his name I make a mental note to call him. He seemed willing to share more information about Jax the night we went to Madeline's party. Maybe if I pushed him a bit he'd open up and give me some insight into what or who caused Jax to build such an impenetrable barrier around his heart.
"What did he tell you?" I wince as I ask. Why am I here and how can I trust anything she says to me?
"He said that Jax only wanted some shares. I guess in Mark's business? And that they would do anything to get them away from you." She enunciates each word slowly as if she's recalling exactly what Brighton said, syllable-by-syllable.
"He said, 'they', you're certain of that?" I take a sip of the coffee in a mistaken effort to slow my pounding heart. Caffeine is only going to add to the adrenaline I'm feeling.