"They did," he whispers softly. "I was a teenager, mowing lawns for gas money for my car. When my mother sat us down and explained that we'd each inherit a small fortune if she died, we both said things we shouldn't have."
"Things about money?"
His tongue flits over his bottom lip. "I told Noah that I wished she would die so I could get my own place. It was during an argument with my dad. I regretted it as soon as I said it."
"He told someone about that after she was gone?" I press on wanting to understand the entire sc
ope of what happened in that house between Ben and his brother.
"He was interviewed by the police." His shoulders tense. "He told them I said those things. I told them I killed her and my father told them nothing."
"So they arrested you?" The surprise in my tone isn't as intentional as it sounds. It had to have been an incredibly emotional situation. A line of blame is easy to cast when someone dies. In this case, the hook fell into Ben's lap and he was the one caught up in the firestorm.
"That night." He rubs his wrists. "They handcuffed me and took me to jail."
"I'm sorry." I lean forward to embrace him. I'm doing it as much for him as for myself. "I'm so sorry, Ben."
He pulls me into his chest, adjusting his body so it's as close to mine as possible. "I was terrified. My father didn't come down to help me. There was no one."
"What?" I pull back to look at his face. "That's horrible."
"My best friend's father was an attorney." He eyes me. "He came down there and cleared everything up. The charges were dropped the next day."
The arrest may have been short lived but the damage was far reaching. It's now twelve years later and the wall of agony behind Ben's eyes is proof that the pain of that day has never subsided.
Chapter 5
"My surprise bridal shower is on Sunday at Axel NY. Did you get pink roses for the table settings?"
It's Friday, which means I have two days to convince myself that going to this bridal shower is a good idea. After leaving Ben's apartment last night, I'd gone straight home to bed. The conversation had been too intense for me to even think about anything beyond it. I had barely slept. I'd wanted to stay and cradle him in my arms but I knew that's not what he needed in that moment. He needed to be alone as much as I did.
"It's not a surprise if you're helping plan it, Lex." I run my hand over her shoulder. "You’re not supposed to know anything about it. Sadie's going to be devastated."
It's not an exaggeration. Sadie Lockwood is Alexa's matron-of-honor. This bridal shower is everything right now to her. She's worked tirelessly for weeks making sure each detail is exactly the way she wants it to be. Creating a special celebration in honor of Alexa's impending marriage to Noah is Sadie's way of showing how much she treasures them both.
They've been friends since they were children and have held each other's hands through the most trying and important moments in each other's lives. When Sadie needed a heart transplant, Alexa had camped in the hospital waiting room until the surgery was over. When Alexa struggled to adjust to living in Paris for a semester in college, it was Sadie she turned to.
I showed up during Alexa's junior year in college. I'm second best. It's never been a secret. We all know it. The fact that Alexa has chosen Sadie as her matron-of-honor illustrates the dynamic of our friendship to a tee.
"You can handle Sadie." She grabs my hand. "You can tell her that I don't have a clue. A little white lie isn't going to hurt her."
What about my big multi-colored, lights flashing, horns blaring lie? When I first got to Alexa's apartment an hour ago she asked if I'd spoken to Ben. I hadn't answered and although that's technically not an outright lie, it's not who I want to be in this friendship. I want to be open and I want Alexa to understand why I went back to Ben's place to get his side of the story.
"I don't want to lie to Sadie." I try to sound cool and calm. "If she asks me if you know, I'll tell her."
"She's fragile, Kayla." Her words bite into me. "I don't want you to upset her right now."
Right now translates to always. When Alexa had returned from Paris I was the one she confided in about her torrid love affair with a man who was deeply involved with another woman. I had held her while she cried and helped her shed the regret that she'd wrapped herself tightly in. I wasn't supposed to tell Sadie because she knew the man and it would only upset her. It was only one of a string of moments in Alexa's life that Sadie wasn't granted knowledge of. I'm tired of it.
I pull my hand from hers. "She's stronger than you think she is. It's just a surprise party."
She arches her neck back, finally pulling her gaze free from the invitations sitting on the table in front of her. "I know she's strong."
I nod my head as I scroll my finger over the seating chart. "There are a lot of people coming to this wedding. Who knew you and Noah were so popular?"
She tilts her head back, jutting her tongue out at me. "You're not funny. It's so much to organize."
"I'll help in any way that I can," I offer genuinely. I've seen the stress that she's been under the past few weeks. I haven't stepped in to help because my focus has been divided between work and Ben. My new job being Vivian's assistant doesn't stop at five o'clock, she has me emailing, researching and doing odd jobs for her at random times. I feel like a well-paid puppet on a string but it affords me the chance to have my own apartment, so I'm not going to complain.