My heartbeat quickens and my cock hardens. She just slid a toe over the line we swore we'd never cross. I'm ready to pick her up and carry her over it. I give her one last out because if we're doing this, I'm all in. "You're sure you want to go there?"
She holds her breath for a beat before she answers. "I want your truth about your first time. Tell me."
I reach forward to gulp down the last swallow of scotch in my glass. I should pour another but I have to stop with that shit. I've been using it as a crutch for too long. It's a decent way to hide from reality but tonight I want to be present. I want this question to lead to more.
"I was seventeen. She was older. It was good as far as first times go."
"How much older?" she asks immediately, both her brows shooting up.
"Five years." I drum my fingers over my thigh. "She was the older sister of a friend. It was winter break, so she was home from college."
"You'd already done stuff with girls before though, right?"
When I was a teenager, I ate pussy like I was a dying man and it was my last meal. I never took it beyond that though, because the girls were always willing to drop to their knees to reciprocate. After blowing my load, I'd pack up and head out or send them home.
It wasn't until I met Jenna that I felt the urge to bury my dick in anyone.
"The usual stuff teenagers do."
I smile. "I was never short of female company in high school."
That earns me an eye roll. "I can imagine what you were like. The girls must have been lined up to be with you."
I would have pushed them all aside for her, but back then she was too young for me. She was also too blonde. My draw to dark-haired women has always been there. It's not that I've never bedded a golden-haired beauty or a redhead. I have, too many times to count.
I fell into a pattern with brunettes. I'd choose one and then another would be waiting her turn. At some point, I just narrowed the playing field by looking for the first available beautiful brown-haired woman who showed an interest in me. I'd approach her, buy her a drink and by the time the proposition left my lips, she'd be wet and ready.
"I wasn't good to women back then," I say that like I'm the poster boy for how to treat a woman now. I'm not. I try my best to be a decent guy after I've been with a woman, but it doesn't always go as planned.
"Why not?"
"I had a big appetite after I fucked Jenna." I don't break eye contact with her. "I wanted more and I didn't stop."
"You haven't stopped," she corrects me quietly.
Wrestling with disappointment in myself I don't respond immediately. Even though we never talk about who we're fucking she knows I go through a steady stream of partners on a monthly basis. Occasionally, I'll settle into a pattern with a woman for a few weeks, but it doesn't last. I never want it to.
"I'm not judging." Her mouth twitches. "It's not like I'm a saint."
I bow my head down. I don't want to know about her past. I don't think I can stand hearing about how many men have tasted her pussy or fucked her. The thought of her mouth on another man's dick creates a knot of jealousy in my chest.
This was so much easier when I saw her as just a friend. It started to shift on New Year's Eve when she ditched her date to take care of me. My feelings for her have only intensified since then. I sat next to her at Nolan's one Sunday in February. The smell of her perfume permeated my skin. I went home and jacked off thinking about her.
The guilt wore on me, so I shifted my focus. I fucked other women, drank more and when she showed up on my doorstep the night of the snowstorm I let her in. We watched television and shared a beer. It was light and easy but when she went to bed, I thought about her lips wrapped around my cock.
I'm a strong man but I have a limit and I'm barreling toward it at full speed.
"I'm going to get a bottle of water." She pushes to her feet. "When I get back it's your turn. Think about whether it's going to be a truth or a dare."
I eye her sweet ass as she walks into the kitchen. All bets are off. It's time to dare Adley to show me how she really feels.
Chapter 14
Adley
I use my time in the kitchen to drink half a bottle of water and calm my nerves. I didn't know how Crew would react when I asked him the question about his first time, but he hesitated only briefly before he answered.
I can feel that we're edging toward something more intense than the just friends arrangement we agreed to after we first met. The thought of losing Crew as a friend scares me, but not taking a chance when there could be something more between us, terrifies me even more.