Chapter 52
Nolan
It's the best fucking mirage I've ever seen. Technically, it's the only one I've ever seen. It's also the only one I ever want to see. Ellie Madden is standing next to Jersey on the corner of Fifty Second and Broadway in the same spot I met Kip.
They were talking like they were old friends until Ellie looked my way and saw my face. She has to see everything I'm feeling in my expression. She must know that I regret every single thing that's happened since I walked into that candy store.
I went to see Liam. I called him after I got his number from his brother, and he invited me to his office. The office where he sits with people who've lost those that they love. He counsels them and helps them deal with their sorrow.
That's why she was there at the candy store with him. She was trying to cope. She wanted this year to be different so that she wouldn’t feel the breath-stealing pain that she feels every year on her sister's birthday.
Liam didn't tell me shit about any of this. He couldn't. He explained about confidentiality and friendship.
I had to piece it together myself based on what Tad told me and that sadness that's always there in Ellie's eyes. I spent the weekend uncovering every detail I could about the day that Ellie's sister died. I read the newspaper clippings about the shooting and then I called in a favor from the anchor at one of the local news stations and he found the archived footage of the news report from that day. I viewed it two hours ago. I watched it six times. I still can't believe my eyes.
"Look who I found," Jersey calls to May and I as we approach. "I found a beautiful girl that I met in Las Vegas standing on this corner waiting to cross on the light."
"You should never cross unless it's safe," May says as she breaks free of my grasp to run toward Jersey and Ellie.
She loves that old man as if he was her great-grandfather. I pray that doesn't change when his family expands. I doubt that their bond will break. He loves May as much as my grandfather would have.
May breezes right past him and jumps at Ellie, the top hat she's wearing flies off in the light wind. She wraps her arms around Ellie's legs, nestling her face against her stomach. "I missed you, Ellie. I thought you'd come back for more pancakes."
'I'm sorry that I haven't, May." She bites her bottom lip. "I'm sorry."
Any apologies need to leave my mouth, not hers. I'm the one who has to grovel and beg this beautiful woman to give me another chance. "It's good to see you, Ellie."
"You too, Nolan," she responds quietly.
Jersey clears his throat as he scoops up May's hat. "It's a small world, isn't it, Rigs?"
Startled, I feel panic washing through me. I look at Ellie. I wait for any recognition, anything.
"I've never been here before." May turns in a complete circle, her eyes cast above, soaking in the buildings, the sounds, and all the people milling about around us. "Daddy, why don't we come here? Look at everything."
Ellie kneels down. She takes May's little hands in her own. "May B, today I learned something very special about this spot."
"May B?" May giggles. "Oh, Ellie. I like that. Call me May B again."
"May B," Ellie begins again, her voice giving way to emotion. "Many years ago, before you were born, my sister, Kip, met a very special boy on this corner."
No. Fuck no. Ellie's sister is Kip? She was Kip?
I start to cry. I don't fucking know how not to.
"Daddy?" May reaches for my hand. "Why are you crying?"
"This spot is magical." Ellie taps her toes on the pavement, drawing May's attention back to her. "Your daddy can feel it. I can too."
May closes her eyes tight, her brow furrowing. "I think I feel it too."
"It's in here." Ellie taps the middle of her own chest. "If you stand very still you can feel the magic, can't you?"
"I feel it." May smiles as her fingers trail over Ellie's cheek. "You're crying too, Ellie. You feel the same thing that my daddy does?"
Ellie shifts her focus to me. Her eyes lock with mine. "I feel everything your daddy does. Everything he feels for me, I feel right back."
I crouch too, wrapping my arms around May and grabbing hold of Ellie's forearms. "There's more to the story, May. Daddy just learned more about the story this afternoon."