After he crawled back into bed, we snuggled together under the covers before I fell back asleep. I didn’t wake until this morning when I felt his lips touching mine.
Our goodbye wasn’t awkward at all and when I got back to my apartment to shower and get ready for my day, I ran my hand over my stomach.
I’m still scared and unsure of what’s going to happen when the baby arrives, but the feeling of pure terror has been replaced with mild fear.
“Why are you staring at that crib?” Gabi steps in place next to me.
I’ve spent the past twenty minutes waiting for her on 5 th Avenue. We went out for lunch today and on our way back to the office, she decided that she needed a new tube of mascara.
Since I don’t have another client meeting until three, I told her I’d tag along. I could only stomach a few minutes inside the Matiz Cosmetics store before I had to make a quick exit back to the street.
The Matiz fragrance line is lovely but it didn’t agree with me today. Then scents were so strong that I felt faint. I thought I’d wait outside the store until I spotted the quaint boutique next door. The window display is of a nursery complete with a beautiful white crib.
It’s simple, elegant and filled with an array of stuffed animals.
This is my future. It’s what I’ve always wanted; yet every time I think about the day the baby will arrive, I feel a rush of anxiety.
When I was struggling to conceive during my marriage it was with the comfort of knowing that I had a stable life. I had a loving partner by my side. We lived in an apartment with enough room for four children and money wasn’t an object.
My life couldn’t be more different now.
I’m still dealing with the fallout from my messy divorce, I’m having a baby with a man I just met and I live in an apartment that won’t leave much extra room after I equip it for a newborn.
I shake off thoughts of what my future looks like and focus on Gabi.
“It looks like you picked up a lot more than one mascara.” I point at the Matiz shopping bag in her hand. “That should last you a year.”
“They had a few essentials on sale.” She beams. “I cannot pass up a bargain on my beauty products. I’m all stocked up so I won’t have to come back for at least a few weeks.”
I don’t want the subject of why I was gazing longingly at a crib to come up again, so I morph into boss mode. “You’ve stretched your one hour lunch break to two-and-a-half. I need to get you back to the office so you can earn some money to pay for all of that.”
“I’m counting on the raise you’re going to give me next month.” She steps toward the curb to wave down an approaching taxi.
I stand in stunned silence. We went through the same thing last winter. Gabi asked for a raise, I told her to wait until summer and then she pestered me continuously until I caved and gave her the salary bump she deserved.
“I’m not going to win this wage war, am I?” I move to where a taxi has now stopped for us. “Be gentle with your demands, Gabi. I may need a little extra money for myself this year.”
“I’ll be kind.” She lets me slide into the backseat of the taxi first before she gets in and slams the door behind us. “I’ll be sure to leave you at least a little for yourself.”
***
“I got us this ginger tea for our celebratory toast.” Evan fumbles with the tea bag in his hand. “Champagne would have been my first choice, but I didn’t want to torture you by drinking it in front of you.”
“I can handle this.” As I reach forward to take the tea bag, our hands brush against each other. “I’m an expert with these things, Dr.”
He inches closer to me as I pour hot water from the kettle into both of the ceramic mugs on his counter.
“You smell amazing, Chloe.” He runs the tip of his nose over the sensitive skin of my neck. “I hope our baby smells as good as you.”
I shiver as I turn to look into his eyes.
Today was the day. We both received an envelope delivered via courier with the paternity test results.
Evan called me when his arrived and asked if I’d had a chance to open mine. I hadn’t because I already knew what the results would be. I tucked it into my purse and told him that I’d drop by his place after we were both done work.
I was on my way home by six, but Evan couldn’t get away from the hospital until ten so now we’re at his place, enjoying a warm cup of ginger tea.
“Where’s your envelope?” he asks me as I hand him a cup.