Hush (Just This Once 1)

I watch her walk away and when I turn back to look at my dad, I see something in his eyes that hasn’t been there for a very long time. Hope.

I see no reason not to add to that, so I say the five words I’ve been holding inside for the past three-and-a-half months. “I’m having a baby, dad.”

The hug he pulls me into tells me that we’re both going to be just fine.

Chapter 44

Evan

I’ve been avoiding the woman I’m falling in love with for two days because I’m damn sure that everything between us will change when she realizes that I’m the guy who steamrolled her life into a million little pieces on a Thursday night two years ago.

I finally found what I was looking for online when I searched for Chloe Newell.

Image after image of my beautiful Chloe appeared. Some of them were from her days in law school but many were from her time spent as the head of an advocacy group for disabled workers.

She’s put in her time to improve the community and she stood next to her dick of an ex-husband at a host of charity events to benefit others.

The pictures of Chloe standing alongside Christopher Newell made my stomach churn. She was obviously his trophy wife; a young woman meant to boost his ego and his stature among his friends.

I read a few interviews where Christopher stated that he was looking most forward to starting a family with Chloe.

It was all about the heir for him and when she couldn’t produce it, he tossed her to the curb.

Their divorce has been dirty and filled with countless accusations all tossed at her. She’s kept tight lipped about what tore her marriage apart, instead focusing on others who need her and building a career of her own.

When I tracked down a picture on a blog of their family on their wedding day, my worst fear was confirmed. The woman who had taken her last breath while I was readying to save her life was Chloe’s mom.

The loss of a patient is never easy. Knowing that it was someone who Chloe cherished makes it almost too much to shoulder.

“You can’t control what happened that night.” Jack pushes his bottle of beer against my back. “You gave that ass advice not knowing that he was married to a great girl and you did what you could for her mom.”

I watch as he rounds me before he takes a seat on my sofa.

“Are you going to pace the floor all night, Evan, or are you going to join me and watch the game?”

I can’t sit. I can’t think straight. I can’t fucking focus on a hockey game.

“What if she blames me for everything?”

Jack glances over at me. “You didn’t do a thing wrong. Why the hell are you beating yourself up about this? You saved her from a bad marriage and you tried to save her

mother’s life.”

“I ruined her life in the space of two hours.” I clench my fists at my side. “Her divorce has been a battle. She’s been dragged through the mud and she’s had to cope with her mom’s death.”

“All of that would have happened if you would have been at the hospital that night or not.” He lifts his beer in the air. “It’s not on you. None of this is on you.”

I don’t see it that way. “I’m the one who told her husband to dump her that night. I had no fucking clue that her mother had just died.”

“He’s the dick who made that decision.”

“What if she never talks to me again?”

He raises a brow as he looks over at where I’m still standing. “You two are having a child, Evan. Even if she somehow blames you for that fucked up night, you’re still going to co-parent this baby. Give her some credit.”

“I know I need to talk to her about this.”

“You need to find your balls and do it as soon as possible.” He looks at the television. “If you keep this all a secret from her you’ll regret it. Be honest. Tell her what happened and the two of you can put this behind you.”