“Not with Preston,” I say tightly. “Not with anyone. I meant that I put my life back together. What happened between us was so long ago.”
“It feels like yesterday to me.” His tone is deep and soothing, just as it was years ago when I needed reassurance about the problems that would pop up in my life.
Gage was always the voice of reason. He could help me see the light at the end of the tunnel, regardless if there was one or not.
“Give me a chance to explain what happened, Katie.”
Taking a step toward the street, the rain beats down on me. I tug the jacket closer to my body. It’s a reminder of forever ago when Gage would offer his jacket to me whenever I was cold.
Gage follows my lead, taking the spot next to me as I scan the oncoming traffic for an available taxi.
“Come back inside,” he insists. “You don’t have to talk to me. You can have a coffee and sit at a table by yourself. You need to get out of this storm.”
I turn to face him, angry that we’re standing together in the rain just as we were the day after we met.
Maybe fate does have a hand in what’s happening.
“You don’t know what I need.” I push a finger into his chest. “You don’t know me anymore.”
Tears bubble up inside of me. I push them back with a heavy swallow and a reminder that I promised myself when I left the boutique with the flowers in my hand that I wouldn’t let him see me cry.
“I know you need answers.” His gaze glides over my face.
“I don’t.” I shake my head, trying to add weight to the lie that just left my lips.
His hand jumps to my chin. “You do.”
I don’t pull back from his touch because I’ve craved it for years. I stare into his eyes. “There’s nothing you can say to me that will change a thing. You don’t understand what you did to me.”
His eyes drop to the front of the jacket. “I broke your heart.”
I push his hand from my face. “You broke all of me. I couldn’t make sense of the world anymore. Everything I knew and believed was turned upside down.”
I’m giving him too much. I’m letting him see the most vulnerable parts of me, and that’s not what I want.
I have to protect myself at all costs. I have to protect the woman I am now and that broken girl he left behind with a wedding dress in her closet and a heart full of dreams.
“I’m sorry, Katie.” His voice is rough and edged with sadness. “I’m so sorry for what I put you through.”
Something inside of me cracks. Hearing the words and seeing the emotion swimming in those green eyes shatters me.
My hand covers my lips as I let out a sob.
“I need to explain.” He inches even closer to me. “Please let me explain why I left.”
I can’t hear him tell me that he doubted his love. I’ve known it for years, but I can’t bear to hear the words leave his lips. “No. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“It matters.” His hands fist at his sides. “All of it matters.”
“You stopped loving me,” I say the words to give them a voice; my voice.
A confirmation nod from him won’t split me in two the same way his words will.
“Never.” He exhales harshly. “I never stopped loving you.”
I never stopped loving you either.
I stare into his eyes as I hold tight to the words, not saying a thing.