“I’m so mad at you.”
“I know.”
“You ruined everything.”
My chest felt like it was cracking. “I know.”
“But I — I think I love you. That’s why it hurts so bad. It won’t go away, the pain in my chest. It won’t go away, and I keep hoping that when I close my eyes and wake up again, it will go away, but—”
I kissed her into silence, putting everything I had into it, molding my lips to hers, forcing her to feel what I felt for her. When we broke apart, I was out of breath. “Lisa, look at me.”
Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I love you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“Even if I punch you in the jaw?”
“Yes, even then.”
“Even if right now my anger overshadows everything else?”
“Even then,” I whispered. “I’d rather you hate me forever yet let me in your li
fe, than love me for a moment and push me away.”
She nodded, wiping at her tears. “I don’t know if I can… if I can trust you again. You hurt me s-so bad.”
“Lisa, if I could take that hurt from you and carry it for the rest of my life, I would. I know that’s not how life works, but know I’d do it in an instant. If I could take all that guilt and shame? There would be no hesitation, but because I can’t, at least let me hold your hand while you walk through it.”
Nodding, she slowly lay back down in bed. “Will you lie down with me?”
“Yeah.” Some of the anxiety of the day lifted. “I can do that.”
Tucking her in against my body, I kissed her forehead as she drifted off to sleep and vowed I’d never let anyone hurt her for as long as I lived — even if that meant keeping her from me. I’d die before I hurt her again.
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
You aren’t born with fear… you’re born with love. Fear develops as you realize that the world isn’t as perfect as you’d once assumed. Fear is a learned habit — and I was its student. —Lisa
Lisa
I WOKE UP alone. Immediately, I jolted upright and looked for Tristan. He wasn’t in the living room. Just as I turned around to go back into my room and grab my cell, the bathroom door burst open.
Tristan stood there, dripping wet and naked.
Completely. Gloriously. Naked.
His jaw went slack.
My eyes went wide.
Neither of us said anything.
Until finally I cleared my throat and folded my arms. “Well, I’d say good morning, but you beat me to it.”
He scratched his head, the V from his abs flexing as water fell to the floor. “No towels.”
“They’re in my room.”