Without thought, I grabbed his hand and led him down the hall until we were in the music room.
I closed the doors.
I locked them.
And led Gabe to the piano seat.
“We’ll stay here…” I squeezed his hand. “…for as long as it takes.”
“What?” His eyes were glassy with tears.
“For as long as it takes for the sorrow and pain to transfer into acceptance. I’ll stay here. With you. By your side. I won’t leave.”
“Promise?”
“Vow.” I placed his hands gently on the piano. “I vow.”
“I can’t.” Gabe’s hand were lifeless against the keys.
With strength I didn’t even know I had within me, I put my hands over his and started playing. “Then let me play through you. Let me help you push through that pain until there’s nothing left.”
Gabe hung his head and let me help him.
Soon, his hands were gliding over the piano with such perfection, I was able to remove my own.
Tears collided with his hands. The drops caused his fingers to sometimes slip as he moved from one song to another.
Three hours we were in that room.
The only noise was the music Gabe played. Some sad songs, some happy ones, but in the end, sometimes words can’t express what’s in your soul. And talking to Gabe about what he just went through? Seemed silly compared to letting him bare it all to me with his music.
When the last note ended, Gabe stood.
I was sitting on the floor against the wall.
He walked over to me and dropped to his knees staring into my eyes for what felt like an eternity. Then he took my hands in his and pulled me to his chest. “I love you. If you remember nothing else for the rest of your life, if you fall and hit your head and can’t remember my name, if you get so sick you’re unrecognizable, if you hate me, if you’re on your deathbed and can’t manage to even lift a finger — remember this. I. Love. You.
Always. Forever. Eternally. Is that kind of love something you can handle, Saylor?”
“I already am.” I choked back the tears. “I love you too.”
The room fell silent, only our ragged breathing kept me aware that time was passing. That it wasn’t a dream.
“Come on.” Gabe got up and held out his hand. “It’s a new day.”
I smiled and gripped his hand with mine. “It’s a new beginning.”
“That…” Gabe smiled and kissed my head. “It is.”
Chapter Fifty-One
Death and love are the only two things that exist in this world that are strong enough to alter the course of your life, of your destiny. They either propel you or paralyze you. In the end, the choice is always yours. —Wes M.
Gabe
The funeral was over with before I even realized it started. I got up to say a few words and almost cracked. Then Saylor smiled.
And I was able to finish the eulogy.