I pull out a chair as my legs give out. Staring at his barely touched breakfast, I’m at a complete loss. Without embarrassment, I call Amelia. When she answers, I don’t prevaricate. “Why doesn’t Ethan want to want me?”
Her answer is a curse word, it’s still a shock to hear her swear. “Holly, I have to admit I thought in the beginning it would be a good thing for you two to get together, only I know it’s not now. Don’t, please don’t get involved with Ethan. You’ll only end up hurt, in the end.”
“I’m not an idiot, I’m not picturing prams or happily-ever-after with him. I know who he is, that’s why I don’t understand why a manwhore like him is refusing to even consider taking what I’ve offered. While I’m not pretending to be an expert on men, I’m pretty sure the man wants me. What in the hell is going on?”
“I love you. Please don’t put me in this position.” She’s begging me.
Not relenting, I press her. “I love you, too. If you know the reason why then please be honest with me.”
Amelia’s voice is so strangled it’s barely more than a whisper. “Remember when I said he’s been with every nationality but never with anyone bigger than a size four? His suits, his career, his condo, the way he wants his breakfast in the morning. Ethan wants perfection in everything, including the women he’s with. You deserve better than him. Whatever has happened forget it, for your sake. I have to go.” Amelia ends the call.
I let the tears fall, once again I’m too fat to be wanted. Now I understand why Ethan didn’t say a word.
I’m not sure how long I sit there before I get up to clean on autopilot. I’ve just finished the kitchen when the phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Hi, this is Brian from Jack’s Humidor. Is Mr. Bishop available?”
“Not at this moment, if you want to leave a message I can make sure he gets it.” I go into the office to take the message down.
“Okay, I’m embarrassed to admit the other night when he was in, he took the receipts with him instead of signing them at the end of the night. While I’m sure it was an accident, if he could please make sure to come by tonight to sign them, that would be great. Even though he’s been in almost every night the past few weeks, of course he wasn’t in last night. So, um, it would be great if he came in tonight. I’ll give him a scotch on the house for the trouble.”
What? “Did you say he’s been in almost every night?”
“Yeah, for the last few weeks almost every night. He usually closes the place down.”
“And his companion. Does she need to come in and sign anything?”
“Oh, um, no. He never comes in with anyone.”
“Can I ask you what time he comes in?” He’s silent for a moment. “Just in case I miss him at the office.”
“Well, most nights it’s around ten.”
I thank him and hang up. There haven’t been any women since I started. The memory of his kiss tells me everything I need to know. Ethan had kissed me like a man who, after starving, was finally being fed. He’s been taking women out to dinner, getting their perfume on him, then going on to the club to stay out late. A manwhore who usually went through women like a person with a cold went through tissues hasn’t been with anyone in weeks. Remembering his hard-as-steel cock pressing against me, it wasn’t because he wasn’t up to performing.
After talking with Amelia, I really was going to let it go, only now I know I can’t. I just can’t.
Chapter Sixteen
Opal says my name for what I’m sure is the second time before handing me a file. Taking the file I know I asked for, I thank her then open it without seeing a word. Just as I had with the paper this morning when Holly told me she was willing to take me on my terms. She can never know how badly I wanted to take her then and there. My body was screaming, begging for her body as it had been all night. As badly as I want her, despite her words, I can’t have Holly. There would be too many complications. Damn it, she’s making me think of things I don’t want to think about. Making me feel things I don’t want to feel, I like my life the way it is. I don’t want it to change, visceral instinct tells me Holly will change my entire world.
My cell phone rings, Amelia. Fuck. “Hello?”
“What did you do?”
“Stay out of this Amelia. This is between Holly and me. I’ve told her nothing can happen between us.”
“And it won’t?”
I’m annoyed at how relieved she sounds. “It won’t.”
“Okay.” She hangs up without another word.
Glad Amelia took me at my word, I’m still annoyed at how upset she got with me about Holly. Did she really have to act as if I would be the worst thing to happen to Holly? If all Holly was after was sex, then I was the man for her. I could please her in countless ways. Christ, the things I’ve imagined doing to her. Instantly, my cock is hard. Fuck!
A tone goes off, letting me know I have a new email. I see it’s from Holly. The subject line is Jack’s Humidor. As I read the message, my stomach drops.