He shrugs, “Two million, I wanted a place I would be in for a while. I hate shopping for anything, especially real estate.”
I’m nodding, not looking at him. What the hell did he see in me, again? I want to ask the question but I don’t dare.
Opening the car door, his hand grabs mine and doesn’t let go. He introduces me at the front desk. The instructions are clear, anytime I want, I’m allowed into his condo. The more I see of the building the higher my stress goes. He lets go of my hand long enough to open the door and push me through it. Everything is white and tan.
“It looks like a hotel.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, the words slip out.
Laughing, he hugs me to him. “You’re right, this is just the living room but the whole place looks like this. You don’t know how often I’ve thought of changing it. I don’t like the idea of my space filled with people I don’t know, I would love it if you changed it up. I love your place, it’s homey and the art on the walls is eclectic still all complement each other. Don’t look so scared, come on, the bedroom is where I want you now the most.”
It’s a long, slow and lazy weekend. Alex is funny, which I hadn’t expected. He also has the dirtiest mouth, which had surprised the hell out of me. I love every moment, he’s at turns the charming playboy I had thought him to be, then he’s down and dirty, filthy and raunchy, greedy, and everything in between.
By Sunday morning, I’m feeling sore and a little bit of a sex goddess. Alex’s avid and total enjoyment of my body is a huge confidence booster. He hadn’t been joking about the lack of clothing. At first I had wanted to hide, yet seeing his obvious desire for me has me sitting in at the kitchen table nude and carefree. Watching him make breakfast is nice, I’ve never had anyone want to take care of me before. Alex had been catering to my every want this weekend. We’d ordered in twice, and both times he had me pick. Even the few times we settled on the couch he handed me the remote, showing me how to work it. They were little things, yet they felt enormous to me.
Smiling at me, he sets down the scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.
Finally, I break the silence. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”
Shrugging, he shakes his head, opening his mouth he closes it again and picks up his fork.
“Alex, you can’t not say anything, after all of that.” I grumble.
Setting down his fork, he rests his palm in his hand and looks me in the eye, his blue eyes are dark. “I’ve pictured you here for so long now the reality of it feels bigger than I thought it would.”
His sincerity is clear, swallowing is harder than it had been a moment ago, and I have no idea what to say.
“I meant what I said in your office the first night. You’re mine, I’m not letting you go. This isn’t a weekend thing or even scratching an itch. I finally understand why you have such low self-esteem. I’m willing to be patient as you work through that. I’m not going anywhere, I’ll never hurt you and I’ll always treat you like the gift you are to me.”
They are the scariest and most beautiful words I’ve ever heard, and for reasons I don’t even understand they cause me to burst into tears. Seconds later, I’m in his arms.
“Shh, sweetheart, I know it’s a little scary but I needed you to know that. To not ever question where you stand and what you mean to me.”
How is being in his arms the best place in the world to be? Stop, stop asking questions and just enjoy the moment, and clutching him close I do.
Chapter Eight
As I watch the announcement of Alex’s promotion, and listen to Alex’s acceptance, I’m not really listening. Maybe because it’s been four months since that first night, it’s not nearly as bittersweet of a moment as I thought it would be. Pride actually stirs deep inside. I’ve learned more about how far up and well he did at Kaplan and Kaplan, and am surprised he’d been willing to come to a company as small as ours.
Alex admitted he’d gone into Kaplan and Kaplan out of Harvard, and they had hit him up for a very large loan to stay afloat. After promises of owning a part of what he was working for, he bit. Then came the time when he’d been handed a check for the loan with a fair interest rate. There would be no owning of a piece of a family firm, they didn’t want to add Hutchison to the build
ing, had known it all along. He had learned his lesson and considered starting his own firm, then Tim had come calling. All cards on the table, and with binding paperwork in place, Alex had seen the company as his best option. Both Alex and Tim had made the right decision, Alex fit, and would take the company far.
Only, I’m not looking forward to tonight when I tell him I’m leaving the company. I know he’ll resist, and deep down I’m worried our relationship might not be strong enough to endure the fight. I want it to, I can’t imagine my life without Alex in it, yet I know I can’t stay.
It’s not about Alex getting the promotion over me. While it had led to me thinking of leaving, it’s really about me doing something for me. The promotion had shown me it didn’t matter how hard I worked and how much I gave of myself, I was disposable to a company I had given my life to. Knowing that made me realize I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to put in the long hours and hard work for someone else, I want to do it for me. I had made the contacts, and I had a reputation I could use to go into business for myself. I’d been quietly researching, and know what I want to do. For the first time in a long time, I’m excited but I’m also a little scared, not of my future solo business, but of what it will mean to my relationship with Alex.
I’m hoping my decision won’t be the end of us. There are times I still wonder if I’m dreaming when we are together. Having the freedom to be able to reach out touch him and have him smile back at me. The last few months have been the happiest of my entire life. Alex is loving, still voracious sexually which makes my confidence grow steadily every day. He also loves taking me out and showing me things about the city I’d grown up in and had yet to experience. We’d been to the symphony four times because I had loved it the first time. Alex enjoys plays and we go at least once a week. We’d come close to having a fight when I came over one weekend to find clothes in the closet. I hated the idea of him spending money on me, my stupid yelling it made me feel like a whore had turned into the hottest moment we had up to that point.
I shiver at the memory.
“The clothes make you feel like a whore. That what, I’m paying for services rendered?” The words were deadly cold.
Shame had me unable to look up. I nod as I finger the tag on the dress. Seven thousand dollars, holy shit, letting it go I don’t see him move. His hand goes into my hair and he tugs me until I’m on my knees. He’s not gentle for the first time, and it’s scary and thrilling. I hear his zipper slide down and look up to see him pull out his cock and I’m wet.
“The clothes stay and so do you. So, if I’m paying for services rendered, you need to catch up. Open your mouth.” The words stung and dear lord I was wet at them. I open my mouth, his cock is forcing its way inside, and I open wider. I haven’t taken him this way as often as I wanted to, embarrassment at how inept I felt I was caused me to shrink from it. His instructions are clear and I follow them, when I don’t, his grip tightens and he pulls harder on my hair. Once I allow my teeth to graze him and immediately I’m repaid by a nipple being tweaked painfully. Moaning around him, I’m so hot and wet from his actions I want him inside me but don’t dare stop. Harder he pushes into me, working himself deeper into my throat. I moan around him and he’s cursing, letting go of my hair, he takes over and he’s fucking my mouth harder and rougher than he’s ever fucked me before. When he comes, it’s a relief and it’s too soon. I swallow and moan and he’s cursing at the feeling.
He’s barely finished before he’s picking me up and tossing me down on the bed. “The smell of your pussy was so fucking thick in the closet, I thought I was going to lose it. You liked that? Good, because it’s going to happen again. You’re mine, I take care of you and the clothes will make it so you don’t feel so self-conscious when we go out. I’ve seen your discomfort and embarrassment. They aren’t for services rendered, and to hear you say shit like that pisses me off, don’t even think of going there again. Now open your legs for me so I can eat your sweet pussy.”
Alex had practically attacked me, his tongue and, painfully, even his teeth had tugged and tortured me for nearly an hour as he kept me from the orgasm I was begging for. He flipped me over and took me from behind, hard and fast and we both came in seconds.