His Hidden Agenda

The door opens and I see Alex step in. Relief fills me to near bursting, it’s a large shower that could easily fit ten people and there’s a large bench where we have made love before, often. When he pulls into his arms, I go and hug him close. Thankful he’s here, I don’t hold back, “I love you, I don’t want to fight.”

I feel him shudder at my words, and his hands hold me as he kisses me deeply and I feel the love that had always been there and I’m shaking. “Bed.” He whispers in my ear . I nod.

Turning off the water he lets me go and grabs a towel, his movements are quick. He’s picking me up, wrapping the towel around me. It never fails to make me wet when he does this. His strength had scared me before, but he’s never used it against me and I know he never will.

Slowly, very gently, he dries me with the towel and before long his touch has me trembling with need. His tongue finds the beating pulse in my neck and licks before sucking lightly. Lightly, he teases a nipple with grazing touches of his hand as his mouth moves down my body.

“You’re mine, Grace.”

Sliding my hands into his hair, I tug him up to look at me. I feel his fear and it makes me humble and sick to my stomach. The idea of him scared and insecure in the love I have for him brings tears to my eyes. “I’m yours and you’re mine and I love you so much that whatever it takes for you to know that, I’ll do. Anything... you want me to stay on, then I’ll do it, you want me to shout it naked on a street corner, then I’ll do it.”

“Marry me.”

My breath catches, why is it a surprise to hear those words? It shouldn’t be, I nod. “Yes.”

Alex’s smile is so bright it’s nearly blinding and I bury my face in his neck, overcome with emotion. His arms tighten around me, “Soon, no waiting for us. It feels like I’ve waited for you forever.”

“Yes, Alex, I don’t want or need a big wedding. You, me, and a judge and I’m good.”

His sigh of relief is clear. “Thank god, I can’t wait for the honeymoon.”

“There’s no need to wait. Make love to me now, please.”

“Days, and very long nights. Somewhere sunny and private so I can see your beautiful body uncovered, for me alone to enjoy.”

“Yes, Alex, whatever you want Alex.”

“I like the sound of that. Will you vow to obey me, my love?”

How the fuck did he make that sound so hot? Feminist ideals be damned, when it came to Alex the word obey feels enticing and erotic as hell.

“I feel you wetter at that, I’m going to take that as a yes. Legs up and back, open yourself wide to me. I have to taste you. Fuck, you’re so wet you’re dripping. Hmm, it turns you on doesn’t it? The same way it did when I forced you on your knees in the closet and fucked your mouth. That night I couldn’t wait to get you home; and pulled you on me and had you sit on my cock in the parking garage. You came in minutes, I thought it was the public sex, but no, you were turned on from my demand to have you then and there. My baby likes to give up control. I had wondered, now I know, and fuck it’s hot. Mine to do with as I please. You’ll open your mouth and your pussy to me when I want as often as I want.”

I can only nod, embarrassment has my throat tight. I rock my hips needing the release only he can give me.

“No baby, no shame in what gives you pleasure, no shame in the way we make love. Seeping down to your ass, I love when you get this wet for me. Tonight, baby, I’m going to fuck your ass. It’s taunted me for so long. I think I’ve loosened you up enough you’ll welcome my cock. You want that? I love when you whimper for me. Hold your legs back for me, under your knees. Just like that.”

He devours me, tongue hot, he licks every inch and sucks with murmurs of satisfaction. Delving deeply, he taunts me and then he begins sucking and nibbling everywhere his tongue has gone first. When he plunges two fingers into me, I almost come off the bed, frantic for my orgasm I’m pleading for more. Faster he works inside me, then his fingers are gone and my hands are back in his hair. Now they return and are pushing into my ass. I’m so close I think I’m going to come from it. For weeks he has toyed with me but never going further then light teasing with his tongue and two fingers, now he’s fucking me fast and there is no teasing. Sobbing for more, I’m so close. When he finally covers my clit with his mouth, it takes only seconds for me to hit a climax so powerful it feels almost painful as my whole body is wracked with deep shudders.

It takes a long time for me to come down, aftershocks continue to run through me for long minutes. Alex has me in his arms, running a hand down my back trying to soothe me. He wipes away tears I hadn’t known I cried.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble as I struggle to understand why I’m feeling so jumbled up inside, and raw, as if my skin is gone.

“Shh, sweetheart, don’t apologize.”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying. It was amazing, it always is but this time, I don’t understand why it felt so different.” I cling to him, needing him against me.

“I think maybe it’s different because you really let go with the knowledge I love you. There have been times it felt like you were holding back and protecting yourself. Other times it was if you were willing yourself to let go and yes, it always feels good because I’ve always loved you and tried to show you. We’ve never fucked, we’ve never had sex, it was always love, hard and fast, slow and sweet, you down on your knees or bent over the kitchen table. Tonight, I think you finally realized that and it makes a difference.” As he speaks, he runs a hand through my hair and lightly kisses my face, my cheek, my chin, my forehead, a soft, reverent kiss on my lips.

“Please, don’t ever stop loving me.” I whisper because he’s right. He’d wiped away my discomfort about my weight easily yet deep down I’d hung back from giving in to the love he showed me every day. He had shown it to me, in the small touches, the way he fixed breakfast in the morning. The way he made my coffee just the way I liked it, the multiple trips to the symphony and the Shedd I loved to visit like a kid. The slightest hint of something catching my eye and it was instantly mine. It wasn’t just money, it was his time he shared freely, without a single reserve. He has never raised his voice in anger at me, when he argued it was often because my confidence had me questioning us and the future. I would try to hide but he wouldn’t let me. Hearing him say the words has been what I needed in order to let go and trust in him completely.

“Not going to happen. We’re going to have our arguments and we’ll probably at one point or another want to push the other from a moving vehicle, but it will be that moment, that time when life is pushing at us, and it will pass. No matter what, I’ll never stop loving you, it’s not possible. You’re in my heart and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

A small chuckle escapes me, I don’t doubt his premonition of our future and I love how he says it with ease. There is no promise everything is going to be hearts and rainbows. We’re going to have bad days but it won’t be enough for us to ever stop loving each other. “Ditto,” I whisper against his mouth and he laughs. “I do believe we were in the middle of something before I interrupted it. Can you please make good on your promise?”

His eyes darken, letting go of me, he rolls to his side of the bed. He takes out a bottle of lubricant, laying it on the bed. I’m getting wet again with anticipation. My eyes on the small bottle I don’t see it until it’s right in front of me. A little white box is in the middle of his large palm. “First, I’m going to need you to put this on to make good on your promise.”

Happy shock fills me, why am I surprised? Then he opens the box. I gasp at the sight of the ring. Holy fucking shit, eyes wide, I’m pretty sure I haven’t blinked.