“No, but I think they wondered too. They were so happy when he got married. It was one of the few times they behaved themselves in public. Jim and Stacy had actually split when Mom was going through the breast cancer thing, but they didn’t say anything. Stacy was great—she flew out with him and Cayce for Dad’s funeral, and they told me then. I told him I’d figured it out a long time ago and it didn’t matter, he was my brother and I loved him. Stacy was more relieved then he was—now that it was just the two of us, she was glad it didn’t matter to me.”
“That’s so great of her. It couldn’t have been easy.”
“She swears she kind of had doubts, especially when Jim did more of the wedding planning than she did.”
Laura laughed. “At least she didn’t let herself get caught up in all the bad.”
“The same could be said about you. I’m still finding it hard to believe with all of that you managed to have two boyfriends, let alone one.”
“Scott was persistent. He was just my friend, and he was always reassuring me, but I found out when I went back to settle everything that he told everyone we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I did like him, he was sweet and I was mad at my mom, and so that night after her funeral I just kind of threw myself at him. It was horrible, but I was sure it was all my fault and it would get better. He would come down every other weekend, but it never did, and finally I couldn’t take it anymore. Plus, he was really clingy and telling me college wasn’t a big deal and I didn’t need it. But he lived at home with his parents and worked at a local big-box store. I didn’t know what I wanted, but it wasn’t that life.
“April was my dorm roommate and she sat me down, handed me a brand-new vibrator, and told me to break up with him. And I did.”
“Now that is a good best friend.” Paul snuggled her closer, and she was thankful for the dark, because she couldn’t hide how much she felt for him in that moment.
“Yep, she’s a good friend. She kind of picked me up and dusted me off after my mom. I was shocked?
??her father was a fire-breathing preacher, and she let it all run through one ear and out the other. Her parents were actually proud that she was so open to everything, and she didn’t take her father’s word as to what the world was. She wanted to explore it all. I had the oddest girl crush on her. You are such a guy, I feel you getting hard, and it wasn’t like that. I was just in awe of her. She was exactly who she wanted to be, and she had a kind of fuck-off attitude. I wanted to be like that so badly.” To torture him, she rubbed against him and laughed.
“Okay, I deserved that, but if you move again I’ll make you pay for it,” he said.
“Hmm, it feels like you’re paying for it. Let me help you.” She tried to turn in his arms, but he held her fast.
“No. If you can’t come then neither can I. You are too sore. This is the price I have to pay for not taking care of you.”
“Paul, I don’t mind.” His only answer was his arms tightening around her, and she melted into him.
“Sleep, sweetheart. If you want to help me, then sleep.” Far easier than she thought with the feel of Paul around her, she did.
***
When it happened a month later, she should have seen it coming, but she didn’t. That weekend after he came back from New York, he hadn’t let her go home until Sunday night. She hadn’t exactly asked about going home, but he told her and she only nodded in agreement. After that, Friday night until Monday, he wanted her at his place. He’d picked her up and she packed a bag, and between her leaving things behind and him buying her things he liked, she had space in his closet. Laura didn’t allow herself to think about what it meant, too scared to read more into the things he did and said. Even when he told her to invite April and Tina and their boyfriends for dinner, she’d agreed and tried not to hyperventilate.
When he invited friends over and made it clear she was with him, she could only smile widely and cling to him. Then she got nervous she was being too clingy. Paul had liked it, though, and when she tried to give him room, he’d pulled her closer. Warning a friend from getting close to her had made her stomach somersault and her pussy wet. After everyone had left, he’d pulled her onto him and fucked her roughly for the first time since that weekend, and she’d been so relieved. That night he was gentler, but he took her twice more, and she’d loved it and told him so.
So when he set the bottle of wine down for them and poured and told her that he wanted her to move in, she shouldn’t have been shocked, but she was.
Laura went still, scared to move, scared to speak.
“It just makes sense. I want you here all the time and you want to be too. So why don’t you just move in?”
She was waiting, still waiting for him to say the words she needed so badly, but he was just staring at her. Setting the glass down with a clink, she looked down at her hands, now clasped together, and prayed her voice wouldn’t tremble. “I do want to be with you and I like being here with you, but I need some time to think about this.”
His jaw clenched and he practically growled, “What the hell is there to think about?”
Flinching, she bit her tongue and then exhaled. “When I moved in with Jeff, he said it was because it made sense. It was supposed to be for us to save for the wedding. It was the smart thing to do. Three years later and a week before a wedding ceremony that was going to be done downstairs in the freaking basement just so he could shut me up, I found him in bed with someone else. I found out then he only asked me to marry him because he knew I wouldn’t have sex with him until he made a commitment.
“I don’t want to do something because it makes sense or it’s convenient. I need to know it’s the right thing for me. Please give me some time to think about it. I’m sorry that’s not what you want to hear, and I know it’s probably farther than where you thought we would get when this started, but I need time.”
“Fine, take all the damn time you need.” He was up from the table, and when she heard the door slam behind him she gave in to the tears.
Chapter Six
A week later, she was late and knew the girls would be annoyed. Her excuse wouldn’t be good enough, she knew. Paul had taken one look at the dress she was dressed to go out and meet the girls in, torn it from her body, and fucked her hard against the wall. It didn’t matter that it had taken her almost an hour to get dressed and ready and that the dress wasn’t all that eye-catching—at least, she didn’t think so. It was a basic black that went down to her knees, but he’d hated the bustier top half, even though lace covered her breasts and up to her neck. After he’d finally let her go, she’d tried again with a long black maxi dress that covered her and was loose and he’d been satisfied. Then he’d checked to make sure she was wearing panties. The thin, silky lace had turned him on, and he’d bent her over the back of the couch. She’d been helpless with need.
She didn’t dare stop him—since he’d asked her to move in, he’d been greedier for her time and attention. He hadn’t brought it up again, and when he came back it had been obvious he was grateful she was still there and hadn’t left. He’d apologized and told her of course if she needed time she would get it. Then he’d fucked her long and hard for an hour.
Laura had been taking it one day at a time, not daring to ask for what she needed, what she was sure he wasn’t ready to give her. It felt like she was melting into him—not just his body, but his life and him. It was terrifying how often she’d wanted to whisper her love, and she knew she had to be careful. Laura hated to admit it, but even though she trusted him with her body, she knew she couldn’t trust him with her heart, not yet.