He seemed lost for words, and was shaking his head. Her heart squeezed tight in pain. This couldn’t be happening, but it was. She needed to get away from him before she just completely lost it. “Stop the car,” she yelled at the cabbie, and was shocked when he slammed on the brakes. Thankfully, she was on the sidewalk and was out in seconds.
“Laura! Dammit!” She saw him throw money at the cabbie and she started walking, looking for another cab. He caught up to her and swung her around. “What the hell are you doing?”
“I need to get away from you. Unless you can tell me you love me and you see us having a future together, there isn’t another thing for us to say to each other!”
“Jesus, you can’t just throw all of that at someone and just expect what you want that instant!”
“We have been together nearly every day for the last five months. I have loved you from almost the beginning. I don’t when exactly or how, but I knew and have known. If you don’t know what you feel already then I’m nothing more to you then a good fuck, and it’s over because I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why, why do you love me? How can you be so sure?”
His words stopped her, and she couldn’t help it—she laughed. “I love the way you took care of me when I was sick. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you frown, that little crease you get between your eyes. I love how big you are but that you are so gentle with me, and then I love it when you aren’t gentle. I love that you listen to my opinion. Just the fact that you ask for it is enough for me. I can be sure because I can’t imagine a moment of my future without you. But I won’t take anything less than all of you. You made me greedy. You are all that I want, but I won’t live waiting for the other shoe to drop, for you to push me away. I can’t live life on the knife’s edge waiting for that moment.” She couldn’t hold back the sob that welled up and over.
She looked away and saw a cab appear. She was inside and away from him before the tide broke, but just barely.
Chapter Eight
“Oh damn. I am so sorry, girl. I’ll get the liquor.” Tina all but ran to the kitchen.
“Tell me I did the right thing. Or should I have moved in and waited for him to come around? I think he would have come around eventually. I mean, Kelly couldn’t even believe he asked me to move in.” Laura was wondering if there was anything she could do stop the tears. There had to be some point when they would stop, right?
“You did the right thing. Don’t question it. That man is in love with you. He just needs to admit it to the both of you.”
“Do you think so?”
“Girl, he is straight up head over heels,” Tina said. “It was kind of sad to watch. He didn’t want you dressing sexy outside of the office. He hated it when other men even glanced at you. He took care of you when you were sick. I couldn’t even get Tyrone to nuke me some soup when I was sick. He loves you, Laura, I’m sure of it. Just give him a little bit of time to wrap his head around it. He’ll come around.”
***
That weekend was spent in haze of tears and wine. Laura couldn’t believe it when he didn’t call or text her even once. Tina and April were both quiet and quick to assure her it didn’t mean anything, that Paul was likely still in shock from it all coming out. Her friends were amazing, staying with her until late Sunday be
fore finally going home.
Getting ready for bed that night, Laura knew, though, that Paul didn’t love her. Paul didn’t want her the same way she wanted him. The man that had come for her when she lied about spending the night at April’s would have pounded on the door until he was let in. Her words had him running scared because he couldn’t, wouldn’t say them back. She had gambled with her love and she had lost.
***
The next day, Monday, started off with a volley of text messages that had Laura wanting to throw her phone out the window. She started the day by texting Paul and telling him she wasn’t coming in. There was no way she could face him when she was still spontaneously breaking into crying fits. She followed up by sending an email notifying him of her resignation, effective Friday. He responded by blowing up her phone with repeated calls, which she ignored. But then he started texting her and telling her that they had an agreement she had to give two weeks’ notice, they had a contract, he needed time to find a replacement. To which she responded with: So sue me. Then all she could think about was the replacement, and is he would would try and find someone else to do what she had done. She remembered he was due to be in Seattle for a week, visiting his brother and niece starting Friday, and said fine, her notice would be until the following Friday.
He finally left her alone when she promised she would be in the next day and would work to find a replacement while he was out of town. She also told him if he wanted to find someone willing to fuck him, he had to find it on his own. He didn’t respond to that. She wanted to kick herself, and settled into a puddle of misery the rest of the day.
***
Tuesday came far too quickly, and after several self-lectures she let herself into the building early, prepared the office, and reviewed the things that had been left on her desk while she was out. It was just after eight when she felt his eyes on her as he looked her up and down, taking in the wide leg slacks and prim blouse that had about twenty buttons down the front. With a frown, he ordered her into his office.
She followed behind him and made to sure to leave the door open. He eyed the door, got up, and closed it. “You can’t leave, damn it.”
“There isn’t anything further for us to discuss,” she said. “I have given my notice and you accepted it. Now, unless you have anything work related, I have several items that need to be completed and you have to call back David Jackson. He was upset about the inspection on the Mercer building.” She stood up and walked out. Still, it hurt that he didn’t try and stop her.
***
From then on, she was ice. It was all she could do to protect herself. On Wednesday she compiled a list of replacements and took them into him to review. He gave her a look of disgust and said he didn’t care. He had taken to communicating only through emails and in barks as he left and entered his office.
Friday came faster than she expected, and the tears were back. It would be the last time she saw him. Eleanor Thomas, the woman she had picked to replace her, was coming in to meet him, and Laura would train Eleanor while he was out of the office the next week. She ended up in all black, to match her mood, wide leg trousers again, and a black camisole under a light shrug. She hadn’t worn a skirt or dress all week, and he had looked her up and down each morning.
Eleanor was on time, and Laura showed Eleanor into his office and refused to acknowledge his expression as he took in the fifty-five-year-old grandmother before him. She closed the door on her way out and tried to focus on the report in front of her, but she couldn’t. After a half-hour Eleanor was out with a smile on her face and agreeing to be back on Monday at eight sharp. Seconds later, he barked Laura’s name and she entered his office slowly. He was waiting for her.
His hard and hot body was pressed against every inch of her, and his mouth was on hers. Her whole body lit up at his touch. It had been too long. He was all she could breathe, all she could see< and she needed him desperately. “Paul, I need you.”