management sick rather than skirt.
Jones
Hmm. Think will cross last bit out as contains mild accusation of sexual harassment whereas v. much enjoying being sexually harassed by Daniel Cleaver.
Aaargh. Perpetua just walked past and started reading over shoulder. Just managed to press Alt Screen in nick of time but big mistake as merely put CV back up on screen.
'Do let me know when you've finished reading, won't you?' said Perpetua, with a nasty smirk. 'I'd hate to feel you were being underused.'
The second she was safely back on the phone – 'I mean frankly, Mr Birkett, what is the point in putting three to four bedrooms when it is going to be obvious the second we appear that bedroom four is an airing cupboard?' – I got back to work. This is what I am about to send.
Message Cleave
Skirt is demonstrably neither sick nor
abscent. Appalled by management's
blatently sizist attitude to skirt.
Considering appeal to industrial tribunal,
tabloids, etc.
Jones.
Oh dear. This was return message.
Message Jones
Absent, Jones, not abscent. Blatantly, not
Blatently. Please attempt to acquire at
least perfunctory grasp of spelling. Though
by no means trying to suggest language fixed
rather than constantly adapting, fluctuating
tool of communication (cf Hoenigswald)
computer spell check might help.
Cleave
Was just feeling crestfallen when Daniel walked past with Simon from Marketing and shot a very sexy look at my skirt with one eyebrow raised. Love the lovely computer messaging. Must work on spelling, though. After all, have degree in English.
Friday 6 January
5.45 p.m. Could not be more joyous. Computer messaging re: presence or otherwise of skirt continued obsessively all afternoon. Cannot imagine respected boss did stroke of work. Weird scenario with Perpetua (penultimate boss), since knew I was messaging and v. angry, but fact that was messaging ultimate boss gave self conflicting feelings of loyalty – distinctly un-level playing field where anyone with ounce of sense would say ultimate boss should hold sway.
Last message read:
Message Jones
Wish to send bouquet to ailing skirt over
weekend. Please supply home contact no asap