Re: Sports Day Picnic
Definitely not. We should all bring picnic blankets. With two boys at the school, I do have some experience of this!
Light-headed and devil-may-care now, I emailed Farzia ‘Watch this’ and sent:
Sender:
Bridget Billymum
Subject:
Re: Sports Day Picnic
I’ll bring the vodka. We drink it neat without mixers, all agreed?
Group email came instantly back.
Sender:
Nicolette Martinez
Subject:
Re: Sports Day Picnic
Vodka is NOT a good idea at Sports Day, Bridget. Or cigarettes. Could you manage the red and yellow peppers? Possibly? In strips so they’ll work with the dips? It is actually quite a difficult job organizing the Sports Day Picnic.
Oh, shit. In the middle of it all suddenly saw email from Imogen at Greenlight.
Sender:
Imogen Faraday, Greenlight Productions
Subject:
Ambergris’s Notes
Dear Bridget,
Just checking that you got the notes from Ambergris on the script for tomorrow’s meeting to meet Saffron. Could you confirm that you can be at the meeting to give your notes on Ambergris’s notes for Saffron?
Hope you’re not about to slash your wrists, because I am.
Imogen x
What meeting? What notes? Who is ‘Saffron’?
Spooled frantically through morass of emails about Sports Day fruits and vegetables, Zombie Apocalypse, Ocado, ASOS, Net-a-Porter, Mexican Viagra, etc., then realized it was time to pick up Mabel.
4.30 p.m. Mabel and Billy just had argument all the way home over whether a triathlon with five sports was called a Quintathlon or Pentathlon.
‘It is!’
‘It isn’t.’
Tried to work out feebly how many sides a pentagon had or remember what five was in Latin, and ended up nearly crashing the car and yelling, ‘Look, will you just shut up?!’ then going into paroxysms of guilt while they started on what the five sports were and Mabel said one of them was ‘Tape measuring’.
‘Tape measuring?’ Billy said incredulously, at which Mabel burst into tears and said, ‘Dey do do tape measuring.’