Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (Bridget Jones 2)
Page 80
"Mark!" Rebecca yelled. "I've dropped my walking stick."
"Fetch!" said Sharon.
For a split second a look of pure embarrassment flashed across Mark's face, then he recovered himself and said, "Well, nice to see you, girls, drive safely."
As we drove away, Shaz was giggling gleefully at the idea of Mark spending the rest of his life forced to run around after Rebecca, following her orders and fetching sticks like a puppy, but my mind was turning round and round the conversation I'd overheard behind the hedge.
10 Mars and Venus in the Dustbin
Monday 14 July
9st 4, alcohol units 4, cigarettes 12 (no longer priority), calories 3,752 (pre-diet), self-help books scheduled for dustbin 47.
8 a.m. In turmoil. Surely it cannot be that reading selfhelp books to improve my relationship has destroyed the whole relationship? Feel like entire life's work has been a failure. But if is one thing have learned from self-help books is how to let go of the past and move on.
About to be thrown out:
What Men Want
How Men Think and What They Feel
Why Men Feel They Want What They Think They Want
The Rules
Ignoring the Rules
Not Now, Honey, I'm Watching the Game
How to Seek and Find the Love You Want
How to Find the Love You Want Without Seeking It
How to Find You Want the Love You Didn't Seek
Happy To Be Single
How Not To Be Single
If Buddha Dated
If Mohammed Dated
If Jesus Dated Aphrodite The Famished Road by Ben Okri (not strictly self-help book, as far as know, but will never read the bloody thing anyway)
Right. All going in the bin plus the other thirty-two. Oh God, though. Cannot bear to throw out The Road Less Travelled and You Can Heal Your Life. Where else is one to turn for spiritual guidance to deal with problems of modern age if not self-help books? Also maybe should give to oxfam? But no. Must not ruin relationships of others, especially in Third World. Would be worse than behaviour of tobacco giants.
Problems
Hole in wall of flat.
Finances in negative position owing to second mortgage for hole in wall of flat.
Boyfriend going out with Other Woman.
Not speaking to joint best friend as is going on holiday with boyfriend and Other Woman.
Work crap but necessary owing to second mortgage for hole in wall of flat.