“Despite all that, she allowed me to carry her burdens and walk by her side until she reached her home. When she tried to offer me recompense for my aid, I shook my head and bid her farewell. I ran as far and as fast as this mortal form would carry me, and then left it as immediately as I could. But even in my own realm, returned to Hell, I could not forget her. She had robbed me of every desire except the one to be at her side.”
“I can’t see you running from anything or anyone,” Katrina said, reaching for the bottle of diluted goat’s blood. She offered to refill Kyle’s drink, and he set his glass on the table for her to do so. “Especially a mortal. A mortal woman.”
Kyle laughed a little before taking another sip from the freshened glass.
“Oh, believe me, nor could I. I had never returned from a mission unsuccessful, and that was the only fact that saved me further inquiry as to why I hadn’t done my duty. After all, if Kailkiril’ron, Lord General could not fulfil the task, something must have gone terribly awry. Or so I let everyone believe. In truth, for days (and I mean ‘days in Hell’: time passes more quickly here compared to there) I wa
s in agony. I paced and wondered and was generally more unpleasant than usual, even for those accustomed to my nature. My stoic composure would give way without reason to anger and annoyance, going instantly from one extreme to the other without provocation. I was truly more than a nightmare. I was dangerous and reckless, and it was noticed by others, but unquestioned, as one does not question the Lord General. Finally I realized I had no choice. I had to see her again. By the time I decided to return, nearly a year had passed in the mortal realm.”
Katrina nodded. She sensed this wasn’t a good time to interrupt.
“I knew what I was doing was strictly forbidden. I hadn’t been given orders to inhabit anyone, nor had I been told to attempt to fulfil my mission again. I was rebelling against everything and I knew it. What’s more, I didn’t care. I had to see her. So I made my excuses and left, seeking out the form I had used previously. I found it, but it was in dismal shape, worse than before, and a great distance away from where I had first taken possession of it. Well, that wouldn’t do.”
“Why didn’t you simply choose another form, closer to where she was?” Katrina asked, taking a sip from her own glass. Though Nikolai had made her immortal and she didn’t need to eat or drink, she liked to keep up the semblance of normalcy. She couldn’t taste the metallic oiliness of the goat’s blood, but she drank it out of courtesy to their guest. She was proud of herself. A year ago she would have been utterly repulsed, but her husband drank blood to live. It was a lot like eating sushi, she supposed. Once you got over the realization of what you were putting in your mouth, it was easy to swallow.
“I blame my failure to do just that on being a complete, unthinking idiot. And on being slightly selfish,” Kyle replied.
“You wanted her to remember you,” Katrina accused, teasing him.
“I plead very, very, inexcusably guilty on that charge,” Kyle said, laughing genuinely as he held up his hands in mock surrender.
Katrina laughed with him, and had the sudden thought that it had been a long time since she’d actually shared a teasing laugh with someone. Sometimes when she and Nikolai were alone she could get him to laugh, but laughing with someone was different. This was unique and special. She enjoyed it.
Kyle caught her thoughts without meaning to, effortless as always, and agreed that this was enjoyable. Nice.
“So,” he continued, picking up the thread of his tale, “I set about cleaning up the mortal form I was ‘borrowing’, earning a little money, and generally trying to make myself presentable and somewhat respectable. After all, I wasn’t your average, everyday demon, and if she was going to see me, I wanted her to actually see me, not simply the pitiful mortal I was using.”
“From here it doesn’t look like so pitiful a mortal,” Katrina observed, deliberately eyeing him up and down before winking at him.
It had the desired effect, and Kyle smiled at her jesting.
“She must have thought the same, for when I finally presented myself to her, she remembered me, and greeted me with a smile, by name.”
Katrina bit her bottom lip in a wistful grin, almost bursting. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” She clapped her hands. “I was hoping she would remember you. She’d probably been waiting to see you again, all that time, wondering what had happened to you and what, if anything, she’d done to frighten you off.” Katrina giggled.
“Indeed, she had,” Kyle said with a nod. “Just as you say.”
Katrina nearly spit out the drink she’d just taken. “I wasn’t serious,” she said, looking at him incredulously. “That’s movie stuff. Not real life!”
“Regardless, it was so,” Kyle said with a gentle smile. “Just as it is in fairy tales. It surprised me that she did remember, for time passes so quickly here. Nonetheless, she had been waiting, just as you say, to speak with me again. And all I could do was gaze at her. Every move she made was entrancement itself, from smoothing her dress to touching her hair.”
His words faded as he lost himself in the memories of his Catrine. When he finally remembered himself, he apologized to his hostess for his inattention.
“Don’t apologize,” Katrina said. She reached to pat his hand lightly, ignoring his almost imperceptible look of disapproval at her touch. “I asked, and it’s nice to hear you talk about her. Though I’m not sure I want to hear the end.”
Kyle nodded and looked away. Yes, it ended. All things end. Even time itself would end one day. Some things simply ended before they should, or so he felt at times, even though he knew better.
“For months, mortal months, we carried on thusly,” he went on, but his words had lost their enthusiasm. “I would visit and we would simply talk, or go for a walk, or I would carry her shopping from the market. I never entered her home.”
Katrina nodded, indicating her continued attention and interest, but didn’t interrupt.
“Catrine went every week to confession,” he continued. “And I would wait outside for her. Outside the churchyard. It was consecrated ground, and I could not set foot on it, but she would come from it happier and smiling, so I was always content to wait on her. I would have waited on her until the end of time. Winter was slowly giving way to spring, but March was exceptionally cold that year. She was concerned that her offering to Saint Joseph for his feast day would be too meagre. I negated her concern. That led to a discussion of saints and souls and why I wouldn’t come to confession with her.
“ ‘It’s so cold out here, Kail,’ she would say before going into the church. ‘At least come in from the cold and warm yourself. Won’t you please come in from the cold?’ She said those words so often. I never understood what she was talking about, because I didn’t feel the cold, or the warmth, or anything else like she did. And I told her so.”
“Oh, Kyle,” Katrina said, swallowing hard as tears prickled at her eyes. “What did she say?”
“I shouldn’t have been surprised, but she told me that she already knew I was different. She just hadn’t known how,” he answered. “And so my explanation of who and what I was didn’t surprise her exactly, but it distinctly unnerved her. All those months, unknowingly consorting with a demon. She accused me of befriending her so that I might take her soul. It was the one time I got angry with her. I told her that if I’d wanted that, I would have taken it already without having to spend so much time with her. She slapped me and refused to speak to me any more. But we had made plans for the Feast of Saint Joseph and I would not abandon her simply because she no longer wanted anything to do with me. At least, that’s what I told myself. In truth, I just didn’t want to be away from her, not even for a moment. I wanted her for myself, and I was unaccustomed to wanting for anything.”