Dark and Stormy Knights (P.N. Elrod) (Kitty Norville 0.80)

Saiman smiled. “Yes. They’re experienced and well paid, and they won’t hesitate to kill.”

So far so good. “When you change shape, do you reproduce internal organs as well?”

“Only if I plan to have intercourse.”

Oh goodie. “Are you pregnant?”

Saiman laughed softly.

“I need to know if you’re going to go into labor.” Because that would just be a cherry on the cake of this job.

“You’re a most peculiar woman. No, I’m most definitely not pregnant. I’m male, and while I may construct a vaginal canal and a uterus on occasion, I’ve never had cause to recreate ovaries. And if I did, I suspect they would be sterile. Unlike the male of the species, women produce all of their gametes during gestation, meaning that when a female infant is born, she will have in her ovaries all of the partially developed eggs she will ever have. The ovaries cannot generate production of new eggs, only the maturation of existing ones. The magic is simply not deep enough for me to overcome this hurdle. Not yet.”

Thank Universe for small favors. “Who am I protecting you from, and why?”

“I’m afraid I have to keep that information to myself as well.”

Why did I take this job again? Ah yes, a pile of money. “Withholding this information diminishes my ability to guard you.”

He tilted his head, looking me over. “I’m willing to take that chance.”

“I’m not. It also puts my life at a greater risk.”

“You’re well compensated for that risk.”

I repressed the urge to brain him with something heavy. Too bad there was no kitchen—a cast-iron frying pan would do the job.

“I see why the first team bailed.”

“Oh, it was the woman,” Saiman said helpfully. “She had difficulty with my metamorphosis. I believe she referred to me as an ‘abomination.’ ”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Let’s try simple questions. Do you expect us to be attacked tonight?”

“Yes.”

I figured as much. “With magic or brute force?”

“Both.”

“Is it a hit for hire?”

Saiman shook his head. “No.”

Well, at least something went my way: amateurs were easier to deal with than contract killers.

“It’s personal. I can tell you this much: the attackers are part of a religious sect. They will do everything in their power to kill me, including sacrificing their own lives.”

And we just drove off a cliff in a runaway buggy. “Are they magically adept?”

“Very.”

I leaned back. “So let me summarize. You’re a target of magical kamikaze fanatics, you won’t tell me who they are, why they’re after you, or why you have been restrained?”

“Precisely. Could I trouble you for a sandwich? I’m famished.”

Dear God, I had a crackpot for a client. “A sandwich?”

“Prosciutto and Gouda on sourdough bread, please. A tomato and red onion would be quite lovely as well.”