Wolfsbane and Mistletoe (Charlaine Harris) (Kitty Norville 2.50)

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Weston grabbed his phone and dialed with trembling hands.

"Therianthrope hotline, Zela speaking, may I help you?"

"I . . . uh . . . is this for real?"

"Are you a therianthrope, sir?"

"I think so. Is this really a werewolf hotline?"

"Is that what you turn into, sir? A wolf?"

"I have no idea. I black out beforehand, can't remember anything. "

"Why do you think you're a therianthrope, sir?"

"I'm finding, um, things, in my, uh, toilet. "

"Things like bone fragments, jewelry, eyeglasses, bits of clothing, coins, watches, and keys?"

"How did you know?"

"I'm a therianthrope myself, sir. Can I ask where you currently reside?"

"Naperville. Illinois. "

"So I'm assuming you just realized you're the Naperville Ripper we've been hearing about?"

"They were all bad people," Weston said quickly. "I'm not sure about the lawyer, but I can make assumptions. "

"We've been following the news. He was a defense attorney, defended child molesters. When given a choice, therianthropes usually prefer the wicked over the good. The creatures inside us find evil tastier. "

"That's, uh, good to know. So . . . what are you, exactly? Are you a werewolf, too?"

"I'm a weresquirrel, sir. "

"When the full moon rises, you turn into a squirrel?"

"Yes. "

"A squirrel with buck teeth with a big fluffy tail?"

"That's the one. "

Weston wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh or not.

"Do you shrink? Or stay full size?"

"Full size. "

"And you eat people?"

"No, sir. Not all therianthropes are carnivores. "

"So, if you don't mind me asking, what do you do when you change?"

"I hoard nuts. "