"Everyone thinks they're a werewolf at first," Irena explained, patting him on the arm. "
It's because werewolves are the most popular therianthropes. "
"They get all the good press," Andy said. "All the books. All the movies. Never gonna see a flick called An American Wereboar in London. "
"Or The Oinking," Phyllis added.
Furry or not, Weston was starting to like Phyllis.
Irena's hand moved up Weston's arm, making him feel a little light-headed.
"Because we can't remember what we do when we've changed, we all first assume we're werewolves. "
"So how can I find out what I change into?"
"I set up a video camera and recorded myself. " Andy reached into his jacket, took out a CD. "We can pop it in the DVD if you want. "
"Don't say yes," Phyllis warned. "The last time he put in a tape of himself and some woman doing the nasty. And it was real nasty. "
"An honest mistake. " Andy leaned closer to Weston and whispered, "She was a college cheerleader, studying massage therapy. I was bow-legged for a week afterward. "
"She was an elderly woman," Phyllis said. "With a walker. "
"Mind your own business, you furvert. You're not even a real therianthrope. "
Phyllis stuck out her jaw. "I am in my heart. "
"When there's a full moon, you don't turn into a hippo. You turn into an idiot who puts on a hippo outfit and skips around like a retarded children's show host. "
Phyllis stood up, fists clenched.
"I'm 'bout to stick an apple in your talk-hole and roast you on a spit, Ham Boy. "
"Enough. " Irena raised her hands. "We're adults. Let's act like it. "
"Does anyone want the last donut?" It was David, the werecoral, talking. "Weston? You haven't had one yet. "
Weston patted his stomach. "No thanks. I just ate my neighbor and her dog. "
"I ate a Fuller Brush Salesman once," Andy said.
"Did not," Phyllis countered. "You ate your own toilet brush. And a pack of them Ty-D-Bowl tablets. That's why your poo was blue. "
"So I can have the last donut?" David had already taken a bite out of it.
Weston looked at Irena, felt his heart flutter.
"Other than video, is there another way to find out what I am?"
Irena's eyes sparkled. "Yes. In fact, there is. "
The group, except for Ryan, gathered in front of the chest sitting in the corner of the room.
"Testing equipment. " Irena twisted an old-fashioned key in the lock and opened the lid.
Weston expected some sort of medical supplies, or maybe a chemistry set. Instead, the trunk was filled with dried plants, broken antiques, and assorted worthless-looking junk.
"Hold out your hand. "