Becky nodded. “It’s like he can’t control himself anymore, and Meg isn’t any help, she’s right there with him. God, Jenny. I thought if I could get her away from him, she’d be safe. I thought if anyone could convince her, you could, Kitty. I should have looked out for her better, if we had all just looked out for her—” Shaun rested a hand on Becky’s arm, quieting her.
I hadn’t realized how much T. J. had been a buffer between me and Carl. How much his presence had saved me from some of Carl’s ire. Another debt I owed him, that I could never repay. Jenny hadn’t had someone like T. J. looking out for her.
From the first, Rick had told me that the pack wasn’t healthy. A pack needed balance. Checks and buffers. Everyone needed to take part, to share in the responsibility. Carl had cowed everyone, and subsequently, had collected all the power. He couldn’t carry it all by himself.
She continued. “It’s like we’ve been waiting for something to give, waiting for something to break, to shake things up. We’ve just been waiting for a chance to bring him down.”
“And you think that chance is me,” I said.
“It’d better be,” Shaun said. “Or we’re all dead.”
Frustrated, I said, “Why are you guys putting so much faith in me?”
Becky didn’t even have to think about it. “We all saw what happened to you in Washington, D.C. And you came through. You’re strong. I’ve been listening to your show. I can hear it in your voice. You’re a natural leader. We’ve been waiting for someone to follow.”
I wasn’t ready for this. I just wanted to get rid of Carl, I didn’t want to take over the whole pack. Right?
I took a deep breath. This was one of those moments where everything might change. I felt the tracks of my life curve in a new direction. “If you guys believe that, then you need to believe that I can’t do it by myself. I need your help.”
Becky ducked her gaze. “It’ll come down to a fight. We’ll have to fight, we know that.”
I shook my head. “Not if I can help it. I’m not that good in a fight. I’m happier using wit and guile.” I braced, waiting for a snappy remark from Ben. He only raised an eyebrow. In respect of his refraining from commenting, I refrained from kicking him under the table.
“Here’s what I’d like you to do,” I said. “Call up everyone from the pack you think you can talk into leaving. Or at least into not standing with Carl when the time comes. We need allies, and you know the pack better than I do now. The more defectors we can get before a fight, the better off we’ll be.”
Shaun grinned. “I’d love to see Carl standing there all alone, when he thinks he has a ton of backup.”
“I don’t want everyone to leave right away,” I said. “Once they leave, they can’t go back. But if they stay, they might be able to let us know what he’s up to.”
“Or give him a false sense of security,” Ben added.
“They’d have to be really careful,” Shaun said. “Carl and Meg would both pick up on it if they thought someone was turning on them.”
“Then maybe it’d be better for them to just leave. I don’t want anyone to get killed because of me. Anyone else.”
“Don’t worry about us,” Shaun said.
“We’re going to need help before it even gets to Carl and Meg,” Ben said. “We’re expecting them to go after alternate targets. We’ll need help—”
“Alternate targets?” Becky said, her brow furrowed.
“Probably Kitty’s family. We have to make sure they don’t get hurt.”
Becky set her jaw, and Shaun nodded with new resolve. The pack will grow, we will win this war. Wolf was sure of it.
“Thank you,” I said. “Have you guys had enough sleep? Are you okay with keeping watch today?”
“We’ll be fine. Don’t worry about us,” Shaun said.
I dropped Shaun and Becky off at the KNOB parking lot. “We’ll call if we see anything,” he said, before leaving. They left together in Shaun’s car.
Almost, it felt like a plan. Ben and I headed back to the freeway.
Some research into wolf behavior—wild wolves, not the lycanthropic variety—suggests that the alphas of a pack aren’t necessarily the strongest, biggest, and toughest wolves, contrary to conventional belief. Instead, the leaders were sometimes the wolves best able to keep peace. They were the most diplomatic, the ones most able to negotiate compromise and organize the pack into the most efficient unit for hunting prey and raising young. The alphas were the ones who were best able to keep more members of the pack alive.
This was a theory I chose to embrace. Carl was undoubtedly the strongest, toughest wolf in this pack. But the pack wasn’t healthy. He wasn’t keeping his members alive.
I had to believe I could do better.