Maybe it was because she hadn’t had any familiarity with dogs during her upbringing. Which reminded her… “How come you never told me about your childhood, Jack?”
He shrugged. “No joy in recalling misery, Nina.”
It was a fair answer. She hadn’t detailed her childhood to him, either, only telling him her parents had divorced and she’d lived with her grandmother until she’d come to Sydney to go to design school. Since her family—if you could call it that—lived hundreds of kilometres away at Port Macquarie, the question of visiting them had been easily put aside.
Besides, with his own parents dead, Jack was not family minded. He’d never pressed her on the subject, accepting her independence as naturally as he took his own for granted. There had been no reason to tell him she had been an unwanted burden to everyone. It didn’t do much for her self-esteem. Jack had accepted her as the person she was—no concern about her background—and that was how she liked it.
“Did you have a dog when you were a boy?” she asked, switching to her earlier thought.
“No. My parents wouldn’t allow it. Too much trouble.” He flashed her a wry smile. “I was too much trouble, let alone a dog.”
So he’d been a burden, too, though not an unwanted one.
“Where I went to school, the caretaker had a dog. He let me play with it,” Jack added in fond reminiscence. “Honey. That was her name. A Labrador. One year she had nine pups. I would have given anything for one of those pups.”
Nina smothered a sigh. Jack was not about to be separated from Spike. Another problem. How could she let that ferocious dog anywhere near Charlotte? There were too many horror stories about dogs mauling children for Nina to even contemplate taking a chance with it.
They were out of the tunnel and heading up the Warringah Freeway. Jack would normally take the Willoughby Road turn-off to go to his home at Roseville Chase. He had a lovely place, Nina reflected, overlooking Echo Point and Middle Harbour. He’d turned the triple garage into his main work area, but he did the finishing in the rumpus room. It was an ideal set-up for Jack, but a child would certainly put a spoke in it.
They passed the turn-off and zoomed along to the Gore Hill Freeway. Nina steeled herself to spell out the situation as she saw it. Jack had to understand that giving an off-the-cuff commitment was not enough for her. She needed some very solid follow-up before she could even think of getting herself deeply entangled with him. She was about to open her mouth when he spoke first.
“Every kid should have a dog,” he declared, nodding over the idea. He looked to her for approval. “Maybe a little one to begin with. I’ve heard that miniature fox terriers make great pets.”
Miniature sounded good. “I think there’s a few other things to settle first,” she warned, and they weren’t in the miniature category, either. Jack was leaping ahead with apparently blind disregard of the adjustments he’d have to make to his lifestyle.
“Sure,” he agreed blithely. “I won’t rush you, Nina. Sally reckoned it would take at least six weeks to organise a dream wedding. I wouldn’t do you out of a dream.”
Her mind freaked out. “Jack!” She looked at him in horror. “I don’t believe in shotgun marriages.”
He frowned at her. “No-one’s pointing a gun at my head, Nina.”
“You wouldn’t have thought of marriage except for the baby,” she said accusingly.
“That’s not true. I was going to ask you to live with me the very night we had that damned argument. Same thing.”
“It’s not the same thing at all!”
“It is for me.” His green eyes flashed intense conviction. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted to live with, Nina.”
“You’re forgetting something, aren’t you?” she asked angrily. “I come with a child.”
“It’s because I’m taking our kid into consideration that I think marriage is a better idea,” he answered with controlled patience. “Kids like to feel secure with their mum and dad.”
“That’s all very well in theory,” Nina retorted fiercely. “It doesn’t work out so neatly in practice. More than one in every three marriages ends in divorce. Where are the kids then?”
He sighed and slanted her a sympathetic look. “I know you’re speaking from your own personal experience, Nina. It must have hurt a lot when your parents divorced…”
No, it didn’t. The hurt came long before the divorce.
“But that’s no reason not to give us a chance,” he went on. “We’re different people.”
“I wouldn’t be with you now if I wasn’t prepared to give it a chance, Jack,” she said tightly. “But will you please stop assuming I’m ready to commit myself and Charlotte to you? I’m not.”
Silence.
Nina could feel Jack brooding, searching for ways and means around her doubts and fears. It set her nerves on edge. She didn’t want pressure. She couldn’t cope with it right now. While life didn’t hang out guarantees for anything, trust did require time to build.
It came as a shock when Jack pulled the Range Rover over to the kerb outside Sally’s house and cut the engine. Nina had lost track of where they were. Home! Her heart fluttered in agitation. She hoped Jack wasn’t going to be difficult, wanting more than she could give.