Jack's Baby
Page 14
She stepped into the kitchenette, feeling more protected by the cupboards and countertops that hemmed the limited moving space. Having checked the electric kettle and found it full of water, she switched it on. After all the trouble Jack had gone to for her today, it was impossible to send him away without offering him at least a cup of tea.
As she waited for the water to boil, Nina took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her skittering nerves and flicked her gaze around the living area she had made her own, needing to regain the sense of independence it had given her. Jack probably thought it was small and cramped, but she had it arranged to suit her convenience.
The two-seater cane lounge and matching armchairs were grouped on the window side of the living room, a coffee table handily placed. On the other side was her sewing machine. Behind it on the wall was a huge corkboard, organised to hold all her reels of cotton, scissors, measuring sticks and other tools of her trade. At the end of the room was the television set and her sound system, so she could watch a program or listen to music as she worked or relaxed.
The mottled beige tiles on the floor were easy to keep clean. She had made the cushion covers and curtains herself in a bright, fresh fabric patterned in lemon and white and lime green. A bowl of brilliant lemon chrysanthemums sat on the coffee table, a welcome home gift from Sally, Nina figured. She’d left Jack’s roses at the hospital for Rhonda and Kim to enjoy. An arrangement of three dozen was difficult to transport.
Jack had probably frowned over the wooden planks under the legs of the dining table. They effectively raised it to a convenient height for measuring and cutting fabric. She didn’t use the table for meals, preferring to keep it for work. Normally she perched on a stool at the kitchen counter to eat or drink. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t looking after herself properly.
She heard Jack coming from the bedroom and hastily set out cups and saucers. By opening the refrigerator door, she effectively blocked the path into the kitchenette. Nina only meant to get out milk and direct Jack to the other side of the kitchen counter. However, the stacked contents of the refrigerator completely distracted her.
“All quiet on the Western Front,” Jack declared cheerfully.
Nina barely heard him. Apart from an incredible array of delicatessen goods loading up the shelves, the meat tray contained great slabs of steak, at least a dozen rashers of bacon, piles of chops and sausages, and the vegetable containers were chock-a-block with items from the greengrocers.
“I’ll never eat all this,” she said dazedly.
“I’ll help you,” came the confident reply.
Warning tingles ran down her spine. Nina forgot about the milk. She shut the refrigerator door and swung around to face a more pressing problem. Jack shot his most dazzling smile at her across the counter that separated them, and Nina felt her resolution fraying at the edges. He was making it so hard for her to hang onto common sense. Desperation drove a steely tone into her voice.
“Are you planning on having meals with me, Jack?”
His eyebrows lifted in appeal. “I thought I’d come over after work and cook dinner for us. It’ll give you a rest in between the two evening feeds for the kid.”
“That’s very considerate of you.” He was taking over. Just walking in and taking over as he pleased. Intent on claiming whatever time she had free from the baby. Nina gritted her teeth in determined resistance to his infiltration tactics. “Are you thinking of cooking breakfast for me, too?”
“Well, uh…” He hesitated, taking in the dangerous glitter in her eyes. “It’s not a good idea?” he asked cautiously.
“Not if you’re assuming you can stay overnight with me any time you like,” she answered angrily.
“Not any time, Nina. Naturally I’ll do whatever’s best for you,” he hastily assured her, then changed his expression to anxious concern. “But I am worried about tonight. Everyone says the first night home with a new baby is scary. No expert to call on…”
“And you consider yourself an expert?” Nina heard her voice rise to a shrill note.
“I meant it’s lonely,” he swiftly amended. “I don’t like to think of you being by yourself, Nina. What if you have a bad night with the kid? No one to talk to…”
“No one to hold me and comfort me and kiss everything better. Is that the idea, Jack?” Wanting to satisfy his hunger for her, never mind what had to be done for the baby.
He frowned at her brittle manner. “I just want to be here for you, Nina.”
He sounded so genuine. The look of caring in his eyes was almost her undoing. Her heart seemed to be pounding in her ears. She wanted his love, wanted to feel it surround her, seep into her, possess her to the point of losing herself entirely in him.
But he only wanted to be here for her, and that wasn’t enough. It simply wasn’t enough.
If only he cared as much about Charlotte.
She closed her eyes, gathered the will to sort through her priorities again, knew she couldn’t battle with her dilemma any more tonight and took the only escape route open to her.
“I want you to go now, Jack.”
“But, Nina…”
She opened her eyes, anguished by his persistence. “Please.”
He looked hurt and bewildered. “Why? What have I done wrong?”
“Don’t argue with me,” she cried in desperation. Frantic to end the torment he stirred, she rushed to the door and opened it for him to leave. “Please. It’s been a long day for me. I need time and space for myself, Jack.”