Climax of Passion

‘No. You both humble and exalt me.’ His hands glided slowly, gently, down her throat to her shoulders. ‘I will leave you now. I will send you a serving woman who will see to your needs. I will not have you sleeping in the company of herdsmen and goat keepers. There is no reason for you not to accept the comforts I can provide. It is all for you.’

He stepped back, picked up his burnoose. With a whirl of black cloth it settled around his shoulders and he strode away from her, heading for the door.

‘Where are you going?’ she called after him.

He paused, looked back. ‘To contemplate the oddity of human foolishness. Including my own.’

‘Where will you sleep?’

‘Under the stars.’ His lips quirked into a self-mocking smile. ‘They have been my companions for a long time.’

‘What about tomorrow?’

‘It will come.’

‘Will you be here?’

‘Yes. Whatever happens...whatever is decided...you are now under my protection. We are linked...you and I. Though much can come between us, and probably will, the link is irreversible, is it not?’

‘Yes.’

‘Are we damned by that knowledge...or blessed with it?’ he mused.

‘I don’t know,’ she murmured, aching to go to him, yet accepting that he must work through his own quandary of spirit. ‘Are you Jebel Haffa?’ she asked, wanting to put a name to him.

He seemed to consider the question far longer than was necessary. ‘Jebel Haffa is loyal beyond all price,’ he answered enigmatically. ‘His loyalty is legendary and goes beyond that of any figure who has lived through history.’

He reflected for a moment and continued. ‘He is part of me. The part that is rational and far-seeing. The part that executes what needs to be done for the good of the people of Xabia. But there is another part of me that is not Jebel Haffa.’

The part I touch, Amanda thought. The personal side.

‘It is the part of me that has journeyed through the long years alone, in a void of emptiness that was never filled no matter what I did or how much was achieved.’ His eyes glittered derisively at her. ‘Was it worth it?’

‘Of course,’ she protested.

‘When you have all the answers to the questions about your father, what will be the worth of it, Amanda? Will you end up holding an empty goblet in your hand, with nothing left in it to drink?’

A chill ran down her spine. Was she chasing a rainbow that had no substance to it?

‘I’ve been there before you,’ he said quietly, sadly. ‘One strives for the goal, but when it is reached, the satisfaction never lasts. It is so brief. Ephemeral. And afterwards, one looks back...and counts the cost. It is all too easy not to think about the cost...until afterwards.’

‘You’re saying that my quest is futile and I should give it up now?’

He shook his head. ‘I know it is futile but until you are aware of it, you will not give it up. Cannot. Therefore I must set my course accordingly.’

He lifted the black cowl over his head and turned to leave.

‘Wait!’ she cried. ‘I don’t want you to pay a price for me. I take back what I asked of you. It wasn’t fair. I had no right.’

His head swung back towards her. His black eyes burned like live coals in the shadow of the cowl. ‘Don’t you know, Amanda?’ he said softly. ‘There is always a price to pay for everything. There is a price you and I will both pay. It is written in the stars. It is inescapable.’

He left her with that remorseless thought.

The scent of the Xabian jasmine drifted back into her nostrils, reminding her of all the needs of a woman. She didn’t know why tears came to her eyes, why they kept welling up and trickling down her cheeks. Human foolishness.

She had won something, hadn’t she?

Yet there was no sense of triumph. Not even satisfaction.