As I shake my head, my response gets stuck in my throat. Because he’s right. Looking physically pained, Dylan finally gets to his feet. “I stayed here because I didn’t want her to be alone in the apartment. Now that you’re home, I’m going to head back to my place.” Slowly his eyes slide to Lexie’s bedroom door as if he’s unsure what to do or how to proceed. I guess there are no playbooks when something like this happens, you just have to wing it and hope you’re doing the right thing. His deep voice almost breaks when he finally murmurs, “Take care of her, okay? You know she’ll just lie in bed and wallow if you let her.”
His words break my heart right in half. What he’s saying is absolutely true. She will wallow in bed. She’s always been like that. I say the words again because I want them to be true. “I’m sure she’ll come around, Dylan. Just give it a few days. I’ll talk to her.”
Looking dejected, he nods before quietly closing the door behind him. With my mind spinning, I hesitantly knock on Lexie’s door. When there’s no answer, I call out, “Lexie, sweetie? Can I come in?”
When there’s still no answer, I knock a little bit harder. She needs to understand that I’m not going to just leave her in there by herself. “Please, Lex, I want to make sure you’re okay.”
I hear a small sob and decide to open the door regardless because I know if the situation were reversed, she wouldn’t just walk away. Pushing the door open, I slowly peek around the corner. She’s curled up in a tight ball on the mattress. The light from the hallway slants over the bed and I notice her face is pale and streaked with tears.
My heart hurts for her and what she’s going through. “Oh, Lex,” Gingerly I sit on the edge of the bed so I can look down at her. Softly I run my fingers through her hair. “Talk to me. Tell me why you’re so upset. Dylan said the test ended up being negative.”
“Yeah,” her voice cracks, “it was.”
I wish I could understand what’s going through her head right now. I hate that she’s breaking up with someone who cares so much about her. “Why did you break up with him, hon?”
She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and stays silent for so long, I begin to wonder if she’ll even answer me. “What happened was terrible, Ivy. I just can’t take the chance something like that could happen again. I don’t want my life getting derailed because a stupid condom ended up breaking.”
Not sure what to say to her rationale, I inhale a deep breath before slowly pushing it back out. I guess I can see where she’s coming from but still… It just feels like Lexie is overreacting to a situation that could have turned out disastrously… but didn’t.
“You still love Dylan, don’t you?” Have I totally misinterpreted the feelings between them? Maybe she doesn’t feel as strongly about him as I thought she did.
A silent tear slowly treks its way down her cheek before she finally nods her head. “I love him more than anything.” She inhales a huge breath before forcing out the rest, “But I feel like we need to take a break. Pull back a bit. I didn’t go to college to find a husband or baby daddy. I want to finish my degree and get some kickass job in fashion. That’s the plan. It’s always been the plan. Not getting knocked up at twenty-one and having to drop out.” Her voice finally breaks on those last words.
“Oh, Lex.” I honestly don’t know how to comfort her. I thought maybe she was overreacting but maybe… maybe she’s not. Maybe she’s right to take a little breathing room and get her priorities figured out. I’ve never had a close call before but what she’s describing scares the shit out of me. All it takes is one moment for your life to change.
Even though Lexie has dodged a bullet, instead of celebrating her good fortune, she’s breaking up with her boyfriend. I can’t help but gently tug her into my arms before wrapping them around her. “Everything will be okay. I think you just need to take some time and process what happened. If you truly love Dylan, then you shouldn’t break up with him over this. He didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, once you told him what was going on, he was totally there for you. Not all guys are like that.”
Pulling away from me, she silently searches my eyes. “No, he’s wonderful.” She sniffs again before wiping her eyes. “But he’ll want sex on a regular basis and I’m not sure if I can do that. I don’t even want to think about sex right now.”