The partners, both junior and senior, had all been fortunate enough to earn plenty of money while they were at it. It made living their everyday lives easier, particularly when the bad guys cam
e knocking on their front doors, necessitating the elaborate security systems they had to have installed in their homes. Or to cover the cost of jet fuel when one of them or someone they cared about needed to be rescued, removed from danger, or taken off the grid.
“What do you want, Dutch?”
“You’re gonna hate me if I tell you.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I want another chance with you.”
“You’re doing all this because you want to fuck me again? Give me a break.”
Dutch flinched. “There are a lot of reasons why I’m doing this, Malin. One of them is because I know I hurt you, and I sure as hell wish I hadn’t.”
She stood and stormed over to the door, but he beat her to it. With his back up against it, he didn’t stop her when her hand came up to slap his face. He didn’t stop her the second time either. On her third attempt, he grabbed both of her wrists. “Enough,” he whispered, pulling her close to him and letting her cry on his chest.
—:—
It wasn’t as though she hadn’t cried over Dutch Miller before, but not like this. Not the gut-wrenching sobs she couldn’t have stopped no matter how hard she tried—so she didn’t bother trying at all. Instead, she clung to the very man that caused her so much pain to begin with. She let him stroke her hair and hold her close to him.
The only thing she didn’t do, that she could never do, was let him creep back into her heart. No one could live through a second annihilation like the first one he put her through.
Dutch put his arm behind her knees and lifted her, carrying her over to the bed. After he set her on it, he lay down next to her and scooted her until her head rested on his chest.
He didn’t speak. It was as though he knew that if he did, he’d break the spell that allowed her to let out all the pain, anguish, anxiety, and fear her body had kept pent up inside for the past several months.
With one hand, he massaged her scalp while the other rested on the small of her back.
—:—
At some point, they both fell asleep, but for Dutch, it wasn’t soundly. Every time Malin moved even a fraction of an inch, he woke up. If she tried to turn in her sleep, he’d tighten his grip, forcing her to stay nestled against him. It was as though by having her there, all the pain he’d caused her could flow from her body into his. He’d carry all of it for her, forever, because he’d been the one to dump it on her in the first place.
Now, here, he could take it all back, and at the end of their time together in South Carolina, she could choose to leave or stay, but whichever choice she made, he wanted her to do it pain-free.
* * *
When Dutch opened his eyes and saw the light of dawn, he knew he should wake Malin so they could leave for the island before the historic downtown filled with its daily allotment of tourists. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, though. Who knew how long it might be before she let him hold her in his arms like this again? It would be longer still before she shared a bed with him again, if ever.
Instead, he breathed in the perfect scent of her. Only now did he realize how much he’d missed it. He ran his fingers over the curve of her neck, down her arm, and then rested his hand on her hip. He resisted the impulse to lean down and touch his lips to hers, knowing that if that was how he woke her, she wouldn’t like it.
“Hi,” he said when she opened her eyes and looked into his.
“What time is it?” she asked, attempting to roll away.
“I don’t know,” he answered, tightening his grip.
He wasn’t sure what he’d expected her to do, but it wasn’t to cup his cheek with her palm.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
“For?”
“Lots of things.”
“Yeah? I’d be open to hearing all of them.”
He added the soft, sweet smile she gave him to the list of things he hadn’t realized he’d missed about her.