The place, located in the public market, was packed, but it didn’t take us long to order and find a seat. Sloane got beet salad and a sweet lamb bowl while I chose the burnt-ends brisket bowl with couscous and roasted vegetables. We shared a cup of the best harissa soup I’d ever had while we waited for our entrées.
“I promised to tell you how the crash made me look at things differently.”
Sloane’s eyes met mine. “You did.”
“I can’t be passive anymore. I can’t wait for things to happen. I mean, I can, but when I do, I get frustrated. I can’t tell you how many times I found myself angry at not being able to talk to you. In the past, I would’ve let it go. Months could have gone by, and eventually, I would’ve given up.”
“I’m sorry.”
I reached over and ran my fingertip over the back of her hand. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s all on me. What I can and can’t allow myself to do anymore.”
“Your life has been in danger before. How was this different?”
“The inevitability. In the past, there was always the chance that I’d overcome whatever obstacle was in front of me. It might mean I’d kill before I was killed or that I was rescued, like in Somalia. The plane going down, though, I didn’t think there was any chance we’d survive. The fact that we did, felt like a crazy miracle.”
Sloane moved her hand out from under mine and looked off in the distance. “What do you want from me, Tackle?”
“I want to spend time with you. I want to get to know who you are when you aren’t with your family.”
“I’m not different.”
“Yeah, you are. I’ve seen glimpses of it over the years. The night of the prom, the day our plane landed in DC. I saw the Sloane who isn’t just the daughter or the little sister. I want to know her better.”
“You said I know how hard the work you do can be on families. You’re right. I’ve seen it firsthand, both with you and Knox and with my dad. I’m not saying that you and I will ever be in a relationship, but the closer I get to you, the harder it will be every time I know you’re out there, facing another dangerous situation.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I worry about Knox so much.”
“And you worry about me.”
“Too much, Tackle. When your plane stopped on that tarmac, I wanted to see you more than my brother. I’m not sure either of my parents noticed, but I got the feeling your mother did.”
“I think you’re right. She said something about calling her that night if my plans changed. Since all I was supposedly doing was dropping you off at work, I thought her comment was odd.”
“I’m not the kind of person who can hide what I’m feeling, Tackle. It could even be why I’ve felt nauseous for so many days in a row. It’s like my body feels the subterfuge and wants to expel it.”
“What are you feeling about me, Sloane?”
“The same things you are. The idea that you might have died without me knowing how it felt to be intimate with you was why I was, um, a little bolder than I’ve ever been.”
Her cheeks turned pink, and she cast her gaze downward. Both things made my cock rock-hard. I held out my hand, and she put hers in it. “You asked what I wanted from you. I’m asking the same thing.”
Sloane took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “This isn’t easy to say, and I’d rather that after I have, you don’t ask me any other questions.”
“I can’t make that promise.”
“I didn’t think so.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“I wanted you to be, you know, my first.”
My already hard cock started to throb.
“That excites you?” she asked, perhaps noticing my accelerated breathing and the way I had to readjust my jeans.
“It does. Like you wouldn’t believe.”
She shrugged one shoulder. “We’re done with that. You know and I know. We can check it off the list.”
Her words caused an ache in my chest. “We’ve barely scratched the surface, Sloane.”