“Don’t you think it’s time you started calling me Benjamin? Like I said, I consider you practically part of our family.”
I left the DHS offices knowing what I’d just experienced was Benjamin Clarkson proving his trust in me. Was it a challenge? Was he saying he trusted me enough to break State Department protocol and, therefore, expected me to understand he was trusting me to do the right thing when it came to his daughter? Or was all of that bullshit I’d concocted by way of a guilty conscience?
When I left the office, I didn’t go straight to the parking garage. Instead, I went for a walk. Fifteen minutes later, I sat in the café across the street from Sloane’s friend’s apartment, wondering why in the hell I was there.
15
Sloane
“He left about ten minutes ago,” said my father when I answered his call.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about—the man you hightailed it out of here today to avoid in the same way you raced up the back staircase when he showed up at the house yesterday.”
“Dad, I—”
“Stop right there. I haven’t decided whether I want to know what’s going on between the two of you, but based on your behavior and his, I know there’s something.”
“What do you mean by his behavior?”
“Sloane, do you know what you’re doing?”
It took me a long time to answer, and even after I decided to tell him the truth, I wasn’t sure I should. “No, Dad, I don’t.”
“I’m going to give you a piece of advice.”
“Okay.”
“Life speeds by far more quickly than you think it will at your age. One day, you’ll wake up and be my age, and I hope, unlike me, you don’t wish you’d done things differently.”
“What does that mean? What do you wish you’d done differently?”
“That seems obvious, Sloane. I wish I wouldn’t have put the job before my family. But I’m not saying your reason for regret would be the same as mine. What I’m suggesting is you make sure that when you are my age, you don’t wish you would’ve taken the chances you’re trying to talk yourself out of.”
“What about Knox?”
“He must think Tackle is a decent guy to have remained friends with him all these years.”
“What if this makes him change his mind?”
“Like I said, peanut, think long and hard whether you want to walk away without taking a chance.”
“What if he doesn’t want to take a chance with me?”
“You’re a smart woman whose only reason for asking such a question is based on your own insecurity.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I’m going to take the train home tonight.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not in the least.”
I walked over to the window and thought about everything my father had said. I couldn’t help but wonder if he and my mom had talked about Tackle and me. Most likely not, since she wouldn’t have hesitated to harangue me about him if they had.
Just as I was going to walk back into the kitchen, I saw Tackle go inside the café across the street. I stayed where I was and watched him take a table near the front window. I took a step back, hoping that, if he looked up, he wouldn’t see me.