His Big Offer

I’m tempted to give in to my temptation to masturbate with all this pent up sexual energy, but I always feel weird doing that on Alice’s couch. Soon, when I have my own place, I’ll have plenty of privacy and time to do that. And then Noodle won’t be staring at me with his head tilted from across the room, wondering what the hell I’m doing. There’s nothing that kills the mood more than an animal curious about your sex life.

And with thought in my head, I sign the contract, put it away, and collapse into sleep.

I raid Alice’s closet again. I’ll be able to buy a new wardrobe soon. That will be fantastic! But today I settle for one of the outfits I regularly borrow from her: a deep blue button down that has short sleeves and somehow makes me look like I have bigger tits than I actually do, and black slacks that make my ass look amazing. I pull some flats from her closet, too. They’re a little big, but I’ll deal with it. I’ll be sitting at a desk all day, not running a marathon.

On the way downtown, on the subway, it hits me. I have a job. I have a job! A job that I’m actually going to like. A job that I have a shot at being good at! I don’t know what divine being or lucky star let me have this great fortune, but I’m certainly not going to complain about it.

When I get to the office, I’m pulled through a whirlwind. I have to fill out employment forms with HR, get my photo taken for my ID and building keycard, and I have to get log-in credentials for the computer system. Then, the HR woman, who seems like she’s in a hurry, gives me a more thorough tour of the Heart Makers offices. I pay attention this time—I don’t want to be the new girl who constantly has to ask for directions.

She leaves me at my office, and I’m exhausted even though it’s only ten A.M. I decide that I need some coffee, and thanks to the tour, I know where the break room is. There’s a group of women in the break room when I step inside, and there’s a momentary hush as everyone looks me over. I give a little wave. “Hi.”

One of them quickly steps forward. “You’re the new girl, right? The writer?”

“That’s me.”

She holds out a hand. “Hi. I’m Emily.”

“Caroline.”

They all introduce themselves to me. Helen, Eileen, Darcy, Lila.

“Coffee is over here and Eileen brought in doughnuts on a whim,” Emily says.

“Thank God for that,” Lila says, and everyone laughs.

I pour myself a cup of coffee and pick up a donut with a napkin to take back to my desk.

“We’ve all been waiting to see who would get hired for that position. They’ve been talking about it forever. How did they find you?”

I laugh nervously. “I honestly don’t know. I have a blog about my dating experiences—good and bad—and yesterday morning I got an email from Mr. Montgomery offering me the job. It’s all been really fast.”

The girls giggle when they hear me mention Chance’s name. “You interviewed with him?” Darcy asks.

“I wouldn’t call it an interview,” I say. “He’d already decided he wanted to hire me. If I’d said yes he would have had me sign the papers as soon as I came in. Does he not normally do the interviews?”

“No,” Emily says. “Almost never. Mr. Montgomery is always nice, but he rarely mingles with the staff. He’s really…busy.”

Eileen nearly chokes on her coffee. “If by busy you mean hot.” She looks at me. “Did you notice?”

I hesitate, not sure if I should be gossiping about the boss, but I can’t pretend like I didn’t see him. “It’s hard not to,” I say.

“He has a strict no dating employees policy,” Emily says, pouting. “Unfortunately for every woman who works here. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t rumors.”

I can’t help myself, my curiosity is out of control. “Rumors?”

“About his…package.” Emily says.

Eileen leans closer to me conspiratorially. “That he’s huge.”

I blush immediately. I already have an obscene amount of dirty images of Chance in my mind, and this isn’t going to make it better. Oh God.